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Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree. v.4

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. v. 4
Despite prison sentences is the popular method in most nations to combat the criminal issues, a considerable number of people think that the improvement on education is more effectively to solve this problem. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this view, because I believe that both ways have their own characteristic benefits and should play a vital role in reducing crime. On the one hand, I would assert that prison is effective in dealing with criminals. The first reason is that an individual who commits the offense must learn that illegal actions have consequences. For example, murderers and rapists must be sentenced to a plethora of years in jail because of their behaviours. This means that they need to know that they will face loss of liberty, social isolation and disconnection from their families and friends if they carry out such a wrongdoing. Another reason is that when heinous offenders are behind bars, they no longer a peril to community and residents can walk in the streets or unwind in their private houses more safety. On the other hand, I consider that education also plays a complementary role to reduce the crime level. Firstly, youngsters should be taught about features of the law which influence on their lives. Having a wide range of knowledge about legislation, those youngsters are finer prepared to keep away from situations which may involve them in offense or becoming a victim. For example, students must learn the essential laws about driving or road safety. Secondly, behind prison-bars, education programmes must aim to provide prisoners with skills and qualifications to find work and reintegrate back into society when they are released. In conclusion, I believe that prison sentences are one crucial weapon in the fight against crime, and I disagree that providing better education sole is more effective solution to decrease the crime rate.
Despite prison sentences is the popular method in most nations to combat the criminal issues, a considerable number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the improvement on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is more
effectively
to solve this problem. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that both ways have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
characteristic benefits and should play a vital role in reducing crime.

On the one hand, I would assert that prison is effective in dealing with criminals. The
first
reason is that an individual who commits the offense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn that illegal actions have consequences.
For example
, murderers and rapists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be sentenced
to a plethora of years in jail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
. This means that they need to know that they will face loss of liberty, social isolation and disconnection from their families and friends if they carry out such a wrongdoing. Another reason is that when heinous offenders are behind bars, they no longer a peril to community and residents can walk in the streets or unwind in their private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
more safety.

On the other hand
, I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
also
plays a complementary role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime level.
Firstly
, youngsters should
be taught
about features of the law which influence on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Having a wide range of knowledge about legislation, those youngsters are finer prepared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away from situations which may involve them in offense or becoming a victim.
For example
, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn the essential laws about driving or road safety.
Secondly
, behind prison-bars,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
aim to provide prisoners with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and qualifications to find work and reintegrate back into society when they
are released
.

In conclusion
, I believe that prison sentences are one crucial weapon in the fight against crime, and I disagree that providing better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sole is more effective solution to decrease the crime rate.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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