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Are parents the best teachers Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Parents are the best teachers Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.1

Are parents the best teachers Parents are the best teachers Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1
A certain group of folks think imprisonment for crimes ought to be set depending on kind of violent actions. However, opponents stated that situation of scandal must be considered before deciding the consequences. According to my personal opinion, I firmly believe that, some crimes deserve to be punished strictly but a few unintentional actions must be re-think before finalizing any serious consequences. It is mandatory to set a level of an imprisonment against a serious code breaking operation. For example, many countries impose the death penalty for the rapist, as they believe raping a woman is equal to killing her due to the victim lose her social dignity. However, it is the sort of crime should be handled by strict rules, otherwise, the number of the similar cases will increase rapidly and women will be insecure about their life. In addition, murder has been threatened in the same way as taking the life of other will be equal once the criminal can sacrifice his life. Introduction of death penalty can reduce the sort of violent process from the community or the country. Furthermore, if serious force will not be taken, the constitution will lose its control of crime and people might be restless situations. On the other hand, before deciding on punishment the background suggest to be understood in most cases. For example, rules of Saudi Arabia request to cut the hand of thieves, but, jobless may steal food or money to provide basic needs of their loving kids or parents. However, in terms of small violent plan human consideration must be into the judgement. Otherwise, people can easily be a victim of unbearable consequences of inhumane code structure. By and large, considerable violation should settle with adequate facilities or personal improvement. To sum up, a certain group of people think all the case ought to be addressed with equal punishment, however, others are suggesting to consider the circumstances before finalizing any serious reaction against the criminal. I would suggest to impose an unchangeable case versus rape and murder, and to understand the situations of solvable violent actions.
A certain group of folks
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "thinks"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'think' is not always incorrect.)
think
imprisonment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
ought to
be set
depending on kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
actions.
However
, opponents stated that situation of scandal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
deciding the consequences. According to my personal opinion, I
firmly
believe that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
deserve to
be punished
strictly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few unintentional actions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be re-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
finalizing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
consequences.

It is mandatory to set a level of an imprisonment against a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
code breaking operation.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries impose the death penalty for the rapist, as they believe raping a woman is equal to killing her due to the victim lose her social dignity.
However
, it is the sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
be handled
by strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
otherwise
, the number of the similar cases will increase
rapidly
and women will be insecure about their life.
In addition
, murder has
been threatened
in the same way
as taking the life of other will be equal once the criminal can sacrifice his life. Introduction of death penalty can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
process from the community or the country.
Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
force will not
be taken
, the constitution will lose its control of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might be restless situations.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
deciding on punishment the background suggest to
be understood
in most cases
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of Saudi Arabia request to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the hand of thieves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, jobless may steal food or money to provide basic needs of their loving kids or parents.
However
, in terms of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
plan human consideration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be into the judgement.
Otherwise
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
be a victim of unbearable consequences of inhumane code structure. By and large, considerable violation should settle with adequate facilities or personal improvement.

To sum up, a certain group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
all the case ought to
be addressed
with equal punishment,
however
, others are suggesting to consider the circumstances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
finalizing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
reaction against the criminal. I would
The verb 'suggest' is used with the gerund form: "suggest imposing".
suggest to impose
an unchangeable case versus rape and murder, and to understand the situations of solvable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
actions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Are parents the best teachers Parents are the best teachers Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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