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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.10

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 10
Nowadays, it is said that giving money to poorer countries by richer countries is not a efficient method to deal with poverty. Many developed countries should support developing countries or poor countries by various ways rather than just giving them money. In my opinion, I completely agree with this view, and i will discuss it in this essay. First of all, developed countries can spend money on other helpful aims. To clarify, they can use that money to build a company, a office or a work place in poorer countries to help poor people get a constant job. By doing this, their living quality can be improved and they can make money on their own. If richer countries just support the other ones by financial aid, there is no effect in preventing people from poverty because they just can spend that amount of money to live without thinking to have more money for a long time. Secondly, developed countries can support developing countries or even countries still in poverty by many ways. They can transfer their goods or food to poorer areas to decrease the number of hungers. Moreover, they can establish organizations to provide modern equipment, facilities and services or even building infrastructure to improve the poverty in other countries. For instance, many countries supported poorer area by building hospitals and schools to help them. In conclusion, I believe that there are still many ways to tackle poverty in many poorer countries due to the fact that richer countries depend on the conditions they can support.
Nowadays, it
is said
that giving
money
to
poorer
countries
by richer
countries
is not
a
efficient method to deal with
poverty
.
Many
developed
countries
should
support
developing
countries
or poor
countries
by various ways
rather
than
just
giving them
money
. In my opinion, I completely
agree
with this view, and
i
will discuss it in this essay.

First of all
, developed
countries
can spend
money
on other helpful aims. To clarify, they can
use
that
money
to build a
company
,
a
office or a work place in
poorer
countries
to
help
poor
people
get
a constant job. By doing this, their living quality can be
improved and
they can
make
money
on their
own
. If richer
countries
just
support
the other ones by financial aid, there is no effect in preventing
people
from
poverty
because
they
just
can spend that amount of
money
to
live
without thinking to have more
money
for a long time.

Secondly
, developed
countries
can
support
developing
countries
or even
countries
still
in
poverty
by
many
ways. They can transfer their
goods
or food to
poorer
areas to decrease the number of hungers.
Moreover
, they can establish organizations to provide modern equipment, facilities and services or even building infrastructure to
improve
the
poverty
in other
countries
.
For instance
,
many
countries
supported
poorer
area by building hospitals and schools to
help
them.

In conclusion
, I believe that there are
still
many
ways to tackle
poverty
in
many
poorer
countries
due to the fact that richer
countries
depend on the conditions they can
support
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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