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Prison is a common way in most countries to solve prblems of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with better education. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Prison is a common way in most countries to solve prblems of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with better education. v. 2
Crime commitment is putting red alert on society and government. People believe that better education is better solution against crime comparing to the prison. In my opinion, I am fully agree on this idea. Education helps reduce crime in various way. At school, education can be considered as a vaccine to prevent crime from occuring. By strict rules in classes, children are encouraged to behave well while studying. If someone violates the law, they gets punished. As the results, children obeyance is insure, and they will keep it going as they grow older. In prison, education helps the criminals in rehabitating themselves. For example, instead of getting punished while undergoing the sentences, education will help the guilty learn vocational skills, which prepare for them to find a job when they finish their imprisonment. As the result, they are prevented from offending once more. In addition, although being a popular solution to end crime, prisons are not effective as it should be. Prison is a punishment for the crime, and it can not solve the problem of the roots, such as motivation. Consequently, it can not prevent the guilt from happening. Furthermore, imprisonment not only stop but also may prompts the guilty to reoffending. In conclusion, good education has better result in combating crimes in comparison with prisons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
commitment is putting red alert on society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe that better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is better solution against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
comparing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. In my opinion, I am
fully
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in various way. At school,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
be considered
as a vaccine to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
occuring
. By strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in classes, children
are encouraged
to behave well while studying. If someone violates the law, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "get"
gets
punished. As the results, children
Possible spelling mistake found.
obeyance
is
Consider using a past participle here: "insured".
insure
, and they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it going as they grow older. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the criminals in
Possible spelling mistake found.
rehabitating
themselves.
For example
,
instead
of getting punished while undergoing the sentences,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the guilty learn vocational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which prepare for them to find a job when they finish their imprisonment. As the result, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from offending once more.

In addition
, although being a popular solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
are not effective as it should be.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Prison
is a punishment for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, and it can not solve the problem of the roots, such as motivation.
Consequently
, it can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the guilt from happening.
Furthermore
, imprisonment not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
may prompts the guilty to
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffending
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has better result in combating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Prison is a common way in most countries to solve prblems of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with better education. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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