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Although more and more people need news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Although more and more people need news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news. v. 2
Nowadays, people are facing the issue of choosing where to update news. Some claim that newspaper will remain the most important news delivery despite the development of the Internet. In my opinion, I am not totally agree with the statements. Internet news is being used more and more frequently in the recent year as the result of two main reasons. First of all, it is a quick method to access the news. With few simple clicks and types on the computer, it is possible to reach almost up-to-second information about any event occuring. Furthermore, with the development of the Internet, people can be informed imediately if there is any groundbreaking news exist. Second reason I want to mention is that the Internet obtains a wide range of information with quick access. Provided that, someone has to suks for some event happened long time ago, it would be difficult to find the newspaper wrote about it among a mountain of them. Instead, by typing the keywords on the Internet, the news about the event will appear on the screen within a short time. However, a number of people keep reading newspaper because of various reason. The newspaper industry has developed in a long period, which has been playing an important role in people’s daily life. Newspaper not only contains spotlight views to the public but also is a mean of leisure. While reading newspaper, people can find news about what happening in the society, as well as get themselves relax with entertaining part such as fun story, and so on. In addition, newspapr is a genuine source, where people always rely on the given information. Recently, the public has witnessed a bulk of false news on the Internet due to its accessibility without authorization or control. In contrast, a news or a series, if it wanted to be publicized, must undergo a process of editoring, examing, … in order to be published on the newspaper. In conclusion, the Internet has its own superiority, however, the newspaper remain an important source of news in daily routine.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing the issue of choosing where to update
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
will remain the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
delivery despite the development of the Internet. In my opinion, I am not
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statements.

Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more and more
frequently
in the recent year as the result of two main reasons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is a quick method to access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. With few simple clicks and types on the computer, it is possible to reach almost up-to-second information about any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
Possible spelling mistake found.
occuring
.
Furthermore
, with the development of the Internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be informed
Possible spelling mistake found.
imediately
if there is any groundbreaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
exist. Second reason I want to mention is that the Internet obtains a wide range of information with quick access. Provided that, someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
Possible spelling mistake found.
suks
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
happened long time ago, it would be difficult to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
wrote about it among a mountain of them.
Instead
, by typing the keywords on the Internet, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
will appear on the screen within a short time.

However
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of various reason. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
industry has developed in a long period, which has been playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Newspaper
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contains spotlight views to the public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
is a mean of leisure. While reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about what happening in the society,
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
themselves relax with entertaining part such as fun story, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
newspapr
is a genuine source, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always rely on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information. Recently, the public has witnessed a bulk of false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the Internet due to its accessibility without authorization or control.
In contrast
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
or a series, if it wanted to
be publicized
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
undergo a process of
Possible spelling mistake found.
editoring
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
examing
, … in order to
be published
on the newspaper.

In conclusion
, the Internet has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
superiority,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
remain an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in daily routine.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Although more and more people need news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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