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“Prevention is better than cure” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extend do you agree of disagree with this statement? v.2

In today’s era, many people are dying due to diseases which can be prevented, therefore I believe government should allocate a appropriate health budget to preventive measure and health awareness however, we cannot also deny the fact that many of the diseases are uncontrollable, despite of taking necessary precautions, for which treatement may be required. There are many instances where taking precautions may does not work for individuals. For example: chances of getting blood cancer can be reduced but cannot be prevented. Taking any precautions will not guarantee complete prevention. Making a shift of budget from treatment of citizens to preventive measures will not give complete protection against this fatal disease. On the hand, many diseases can be avoided if government take adequate precautionary and safety measures before occurrence of illness. Many fatal diseases are the result of human negligence and their lifestyle. Diseases like diabetes, heart attack, cholestrol can be avoided, if people keep themselves active and eat healthy diet. Moreover, people lifestyle, contribute a lot towards their health. Nowadays, people have habit of eating junk food, late night sleeping and lack of exercizing all have a detrimental impact on health. Furthermore, taking care of hygiene and cleanliness is of paramount importance. People are careless in taking care of cleanliness as they are busy with their work schedules. Spending budget on awareness session relating to these aspect may prove fruitful. Thus, it can be concluded, that Government should allocate, health budget among the treatment and preventive measures because some diseases can be controlled by taking preventive measures while others are uncontrollable and may require treatment.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are dying due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
,
therefore
I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
to preventive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
awareness
however
, we cannot
also
deny the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
are uncontrollable,
Did you mean “despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
despite of
taking necessary precautions, for which
Possible spelling mistake found.
treatement
may
be required
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
instances where taking precautions may
The modal verb ‘may’ requires the verb’s base form.
does
not work for individuals.
For example
: chances of getting blood cancer can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
. Taking any precautions will not guarantee complete prevention. Making a shift of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
from treatment of citizens to preventive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
will not give complete protection against this fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
. On the hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
can
be avoided
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
take adequate precautionary and safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
occurrence of illness.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
are the result of human negligence and their lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Diseases
like diabetes, heart attack,
Possible spelling mistake found.
cholestrol
can
be avoided
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves active and eat healthy diet.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lifestyle, contribute a lot towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have habit of eating junk food, late night sleeping and lack of
Possible spelling mistake found.
exercizing
all have a detrimental impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Furthermore
, taking care of hygiene and cleanliness is of paramount importance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are careless in taking care of cleanliness as they are busy with their work schedules. Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
on awareness session relating to
‘These’ does not seem to match the singular noun ‘aspect’. Did you mean “this aspect” or “these aspects”?
these aspect
may prove fruitful.

Thus
, it can
be concluded
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should allocate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
among the treatment and preventive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
can
be controlled
by taking preventive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
while others are uncontrollable and may require treatment.
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IELTS essay Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion shouldbe diverted from treatement to spending on health education and preventative measures. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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