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""Prevention is better than cure. "" Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.4

""Prevention is better than cure. "" Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. with this statement? v. 4
It goes without saying that Precaution is better than cure and, thus, many people believe that the government should allocate a major portion of its healthcare budget to awareness campaign and precaution at the cost of spending on treatment. Personally, I do not consent to the hilt as this practice will cause huge damage to the already affected people by one or more disease and delay their treatment. Notwithstanding, this discourse will delve into both perspectives, this essay will put forward the arguments to support my opinion. From one perspective, the supporters of higher healthcare treatment budget see the major effects of cutting down on budget from this segment on the poor people who caught by the diseases that require costly treatments. In other words, this will directly affect the treatment of the major population of the country which consist of lower income families where as high income class can afford the treatment at nonsubsidised centers. Moreover, despite the awareness and care, many people are affecting with some diseases due to the bad weather condition or an unhealthy life style. For example, as per Indian health research center, 20% of the people were affected by the cancer despite continuous awareness campaign in 2018, and only 50% of them could get the benefits of treatment through government subsidies. Secondly, this reduction on treatment budget will result in poor health care facilities in the country as a result of poor infrastructures and lack of expert doctors. This will be the case as the government may not be able to retain the expert doctors with high pay due to less financial resources. Apart from the existing facilities requirement of regular maintenance to keep it in good shape. Further, due to increase in population and to provide medical facilities to the areas previously not available, the government has to set up new infrastructures to have the basic health care services for major portion of the citizen. According to the survey of the World Medical Association, 45% of the world population are deprived of the basic healthcare facility to treat the disease. In conclusion, I dissent from the view of diverting the huge budget from the treatment of diseases to the awareness and prevention segment as it will cost to the significantly high portion of the population which have low income and on other hand it will deteriorate the quality of the healthcare services instead of improving it.
It goes without saying that Precaution is better than cure and,
thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should allocate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
portion of its healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
campaign and precaution at the cost of spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
.
Personally
, I do not consent to the hilt as this practice will cause huge damage to the already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by one or more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
and delay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
. Notwithstanding, this discourse will delve into both perspectives, this essay will put forward the arguments to support my opinion.

From one perspective, the supporters of higher healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
effects of cutting down on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
from this segment on the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who caught by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
that require costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
.
In other words
, this will
directly
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the country which consist of lower income families
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
high income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
can afford the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
nonsubsidised
centers.
Moreover
, despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
and care,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are affecting with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
weather condition or an unhealthy life style.
For example
, as per Indian health research center, 20% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the cancer despite continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
campaign in 2018, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
50% of them could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
subsidies.

Secondly
, this reduction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
will result in poor health care facilities in the country
as a result
of poor infrastructures and lack of expert doctors. This will be the case as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
may not be able to retain the expert doctors with high pay due to less financial resources. Apart from the existing
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "facilities'" or "facility's"?
facilities
requirement of regular maintenance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape.
Further
, due to increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and to provide medical facilities to the areas previously not available, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
set up new infrastructures to have the basic health care services for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
portion of the citizen. According to the survey of the World Medical Association, 45% of the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
are deprived
of the basic healthcare facility to treat the disease.

In conclusion
, I dissent from the view of diverting the huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
and prevention segment as it will cost to the
significantly
high portion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
which have low income and on other hand it will deteriorate the quality of the healthcare services
instead
of improving it.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay ""Prevention is better than cure. "" Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. with this statement? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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