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“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree? v.9

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. v. 9
A huge amount from the health budget goes into the treatment of various diseases. It is believed that the same investment should be made on prevention rather than treatment. My agreement with this opinion is only partial as I believe diseases would not entirely be eradicated and the need for treatment would be ever-present. Prevention of diseases helps the masses in avoiding a number of health issues. According to a survey conducted by the International Society of Physicians, around 90% of the heart diseases are an outcome of inadequate prevention. The survey ascertained that if the people had avoided the use of unhealthy food, most of the heart disease cases could have been prevented. If the health budget is spent on providing healthy food to the people and taking precautions against the viral infections, a lot of diseases can be prevented. In spite of all of its benefits, prevention cannot entirely replace treatment as it does not ensure 100% eradication of diseases. There is a small percentage of diseases that would always slip through the cracks and the patients would need cure against it. Therefore, it would not be feasible to spend the entire health budget on prevention while overlooking upon the treatment. Moreover, the diseases have an evolutionary nature and they become stronger by the day. A number of studies have proven that the diseases humankind is facing today have evolved over the past years. Hence, scientists need a continual research to learn the behavior of the diseases and the ways to cure them. In conclusion, I believe that reallocation of the health budget toward disease prevention is a good idea. However, as prevention would not be able to eradicate the disease, expenditure on cure would always be a necessity for the health sector.
A huge amount from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
goes into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. It
is believed
that the same investment should
be made
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevention
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
. My agreement with this opinion is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partial as I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
would not
entirely
be eradicated
and the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
would be ever-present.

Prevention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the masses in avoiding a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues. According to a survey conducted by the International Society of Physicians, around 90% of the heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
are an outcome of inadequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevention
. The survey ascertained that if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had avoided the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of unhealthy food, most of the heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
cases could have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
is spent
on providing healthy food to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and taking precautions against the viral infections,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
all of its benefits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevention
cannot
entirely
replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
as it does not ensure 100% eradication of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
that would always slip through the cracks and the patients would need
The usual collocation for "cure" is "for" not "against". Did you mean "cure for"?
cure against
it.
Therefore
, it would not be feasible to spend the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevention
while overlooking upon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
have an evolutionary
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nature and
they become stronger by the day. A number of studies have proven that the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "diseases'" or "disease's"?
diseases
humankind is facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have evolved over the past years.
Hence
, scientists need a continual research to learn the behavior of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and the ways to cure them.

In conclusion
, I believe that reallocation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevention
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
However
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevention
would not be able to eradicate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
, expenditure on cure would always be a necessity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay “Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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