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What are some benefits and problems of learning abroad? v.1

What are some benefits and problems of learning abroad? v. 1
Nowadays, the world is getting smaller and flatter so many young people can choose to study in another country. However, everything has its advantages and disadvantages, and studying abroad is no exception. The first benefit of studying abroad is a chance to experience different education systems. The foreign universities have advantages in material facilities, interesting methods of learning that can help students learn easier. Secondly, studying abroad is the opportunity to be skillful another language. You can practice language skills with native speakers every day. It is clear that there is no better way to learn a language than using it every day. Besides, you can have a chance to make new friends when you try to talk with them in their language. Thirdly, studying abroad can help you find a good job. The language skills, new knowledge and adaptability that you gained after studying abroad will be very attractive to employers. On the other hand, studying abroad has some problems. Firstly, that is financial pressure. The expense of your education and everyday living is not cheap in overseas if you have no scholarship. You can get part-time jobs to pay your expenses but it may distract your education if you are not careful. Secondly, you may face culture shock when you study abroad. Many things are very different in other countries such as languages, lifestyles, technology gap that require adaptability highly. Finally, most students feel homesick. You would miss your family, friends, familiar food and places. In conclusion, study abroad does more good than harm. Young students should consider their own situation to make the best decision
Nowadays, the world is getting smaller and flatter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can choose to study in another country.
However
, everything has its advantages and disadvantages, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is no exception.

The
first
benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is a chance to experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
education systems. The foreign universities have advantages in material facilities, interesting methods of learning that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students learn easier.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is the opportunity to be skillful another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. You can practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with native speakers every day. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there is no better way to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
than using it every day.
Besides
, you can have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends when you try to talk with them in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, new knowledge and adaptability that you gained after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive to employers.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems.
Firstly
,
that is
financial pressure. The expense of your education and everyday living is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
in overseas if you have no scholarship. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
part-time jobs to pay your expenses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it may distract your education if you are not careful.
Secondly
, you may face culture shock when you study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
things are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in other countries such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, lifestyles, technology gap that require adaptability
highly
.
Finally
, most students feel homesick. You would miss your family, friends, familiar food and places.

In conclusion
, study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
does more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
than harm. Young students should consider their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
situation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
decision
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay What are some benefits and problems of learning abroad? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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