Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v.21

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 21
Nowadays, museums are the only places to know in depth of our heritage and ancestral daily routines. As there is no other better option to know about our history. In my opinion, I believe it is worth spending a small amount to know our heritage. As it will reduce the burden of maintaining museums on government. While other museums where there is no charges to visit, it is not that well maintained neither guide to give more or in depth information. Museums are very costly to maintain, as there are many things to keep safe and they are very precious. There are various things in the museums to look after and maintain without losing the originality. One good example is Museum in the state of Hyderabad, India, which consist of the Great Nizam’s complete empire clothing’s and the huge military armors with various kinds of weapons, which were used at that time are maintained by the government of Hyderabad state. By charging a small amount of the visitors. Creates seriousness in the visitor’s mind. On the other hand, free museums are not well maintained and not are not in proper standards. Those they follow the principle of equality by not charging money from poor or rich. By not charging money from the visitors it is very difficult to bear cost to look after the whole museum. Such as, Shivaji museum in India, free, but the museum is not well organized and there is no one to give the in depth information about the special events of that time. To conclude, for the best experience paid museums are better in many ways. As they are well maintained and organized. While, free museums won’t make that much impact on the person’s mind as they are not that much will look after. Though there are drawbacks of charging, but the advantages are more for paid museums.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
places to know in depth of our heritage and ancestral daily routines.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
there is no other better option to know about our history. In my opinion, I believe it is worth spending a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount to know our heritage.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden of maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. While other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
where
Did you mean "there are no charges"?
there is no charges
to visit, it is not that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintained
neither guide to give more or in depth information.

Museums are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly to maintain, as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
safe and
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precious. There are various things in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
to look after and maintain without losing the originality. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
in the state of Hyderabad, India, which consist of the Great
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nizam
’s complete empire clothing’s and the huge military armors with various kinds of weapons, which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at that time are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintained
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Hyderabad state. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of the visitors. Creates seriousness in the visitor’s mind.

On the other hand
, free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintained
and
Double negatives are discouraged in standard English. Can you reformulate this phrase or is a comma missing?
not are not
in proper standards. Those they follow the principle of equality by not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
money from poor or rich. By not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
money from the visitors it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to bear cost to look after the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. Such as,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shivaji
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in India, free,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
organized and there is no one to give the in depth information about the special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of that time.

To conclude
, for the best experience paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are better in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. As they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintained
and organized. While, free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
that much impact on the person’s mind as they are not that much will look after. Though there are drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the advantages are more for paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts