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"Prevention is better than cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree. v.7

"Prevention is better than cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. v. 7
It’s argued that being cautious outweighs curing illnesses. This essay partially agrees and disagrees with this suggestion because the future is always unknown, and it can’t be anticipated accurately. This essay will discuss the role and importance of taking safety precautions before looking at the drastic measures and consequences of treating illnesses after they occur. No doubt that it is very essential to constantly take care of yourself to always be safe and healthy. People should follow safety instructions and take their immunizations regularly to avoid as many diseases as possible. Being concerned about your wellness can be triggered easily when you have someone sick around you especially with a contagious disease. Take SARS for example, when it first spread in China people didn’t have any medications to prevent it from spreading from one person to another, only people who took preventative measures into consideration outlived the virus and didn’t get contagious. On the other hand, there are those people who were following safety instructions not to get sick and eventually collapsed and it wasn’t their fault. As an illustration of this, the Chinese doctor who died treating people from Corona virus. Despite being a doctor, and despite following all the safety rules, he died on duty. People wouldn’t have been working now day and night to find a cure if it didn’t happen. In terms of the expensive costs, we should know that spending money on both sides is very important. Even though it costs more to discover a new treatment for an illness, we should know that today’s preventative vaccinations were yesterday’s new illnesses. To conclude, I believe that money being put in both sides isn’t a waste as we can’t fight the unknown. On the other hand, we can fight what we have today and do our best to prevent it.
It’s argued that being cautious outweighs curing illnesses. This essay
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
and disagrees with this suggestion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the future is always unknown, and it can’t
be anticipated
accurately
. This essay will discuss the role and importance of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
precautions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
looking at the drastic measures and consequences of treating illnesses after they occur.

No doubt that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential to
constantly
take care of yourself to always be safe and healthy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
instructions and take their immunizations
regularly
to avoid as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases as possible.
Being concerned
about your wellness can
be triggered
easily
when you have someone sick around you
especially
with a contagious disease. Take SARS
for example
, when it
first
spread in China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
didn’t have any medications to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it from spreading from one person to another,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who took preventative measures into consideration outlived the virus and didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
contagious.

On the other hand
, there are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
instructions not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick and
eventually
collapsed and it wasn’t their fault. As an illustration of this, the Chinese doctor who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
The term "Coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona virus
. Despite being a doctor, and despite following all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
on duty.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
wouldn’t have been working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
day and night to find a cure if it didn’t happen.

In terms of the expensive costs, we should know that spending money on both sides is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Even though
it costs more to discover a new treatment for an illness, we should know that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s preventative vaccinations were yesterday’s new illnesses.

To conclude
, I believe that money
being put
in both sides isn’t a waste as we can’t fight the unknown.
On the other hand
, we can fight what we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and do our best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay "Prevention is better than cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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