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Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.13

Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 13
In today’s world, people have been interacting with each other in many ways because of the advancement of technology. Although technology provides many benefits, there are also negative impacts. I will shed some light on the both views in my essay. On the one side of positive development, there are many benefits. Firstly, technology helped to close time and space in today’s world. As a result, people are able to connect with each other during any time from any part of the world. For example, people are using all social media technology applications such as Facebook, What’s App and phone to connect with anybody. Secondly, people do not feel lonely anymore as they are able to connect with their loved one very often. For example, I have been staying away from my parents since 20 years due to my study and work. However, I am able to connect with my parents every often. Therefore, it helped me to gain a mental piece by knowing my parent's condition and learning about their life without much travel and spending money to reach out my parents. On the other side, although there are many positive benefits of building relationship, there are still many negative impacts. Firstly, technology created many gaps in generations. People tend to ignore and lose their personal touch with their own loved one. For example, I remember, when I was staying away from my parents during my childhood, I used to receive a written letter from my parents. As a result, I was able to feel the presence of my parents and gain advice through those letters. Therefore, it helped me to build my confidence and stay longer in my mental picture though those written lessons from my parents. However, nowadays, people ignore quite often to spend time and meet with someone because of these presences of technologies. To recapitulate, although technology helps to build relationship in peoples life, there are still many negative impacts. I would suggest, people should still spend time more to meet their loved one to build those relationships strong.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
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people
have been interacting with each other in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts. I will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the both views in my essay.

On the one side of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and space in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
with each other during any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from any part of the world.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using all social media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
applications such as Facebook, What’s App and phone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
with anybody.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not feel lonely anymore as they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
For example
, I have been staying away from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
since 20 years due to my study and work.
However
, I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
Therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to gain a mental piece by knowing my parent's condition and learning about their life without much travel and spending money to reach out my parents.

On the other side, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
benefits of building relationship, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
gaps in generations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
and lose their personal touch with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one.
For example
, I remember, when I was staying away from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
during my childhood, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to receive a written letter from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
As a result
, I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to feel the presence of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and gain advice through those letters.
Therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to build my confidence and stay longer in my mental picture though those written lessons from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
However
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these presences of technologies.

To recapitulate, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build relationship in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
life, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts. I would suggest,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
still
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
more to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one to build those relationships strong.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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