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Prevention is better than cure. Research and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree? v.30

Prevention is better than cure. Research and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. v. 30
Medicine is one of the most essentials in life. The healthcare industry has become overly expensive over the years, therefore some say it is always better to prevent an ailment rather than research and development of a treatment. I completely disagree with this argument, as I believe it is crucial that humans continue to study on cure's for various sicknesses. Modern technology can diagnose a deadly disease. In other words, some sicknesses are hard to prevent and the only method to rid of it would be with medication which was developed by expensive studies by health care experts. An ailment such as, cancer would be a prime example. Doctors and experts say that every living being has some form of a cancer within themselves, in fact we are all born with it. However, for most of us these are inactive cancers, however, they can be activated at any stage of life, mainly due to eating habits and individual lifestyles. They also claim, that an early diagnosis and treatment would give a chance of survival from the deadly condition. Therefore, it is apparent that early diagnosis is only possible with the modern technology thanks to research. Some critics, however, are in favour of taking preventive steps in order to live a healthy life. While, I believe that this is the best option I am certain that this ideology cannot be applied for many conditions. For instance, AIDS is a deadly virus that can be prevented by having safe sex however, humans are not perfect, therefore, a wrong decision or one mistake would have been fatal in the early days or have a very short amount of time. However, thanks to modern day medicine created by research and development, an AIDS patient can now live a long and happy life with a life expectance of up to 70 years. In conclusion, sicknesses such as, cancer can be treated only if diagnosed at an early stage. Modern day medicine has given a chance of living a normal life while carrying a deadly condition such as AIDS.
Medicine is one of the most essentials in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The healthcare industry has become
overly
expensive over the years,
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say it is always better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
an ailment
rather
than research and development of a treatment. I completely disagree with this argument, as I believe it is crucial that humans continue to study on cure's for various sicknesses.

Modern technology can diagnose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deadly
disease.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sicknesses are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
method to rid of it would be with medication which
was developed
by expensive studies by health care experts. An ailment such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
would be a prime example. Doctors and experts say that every living being has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
form of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
within themselves, in fact we are all born with it.
However
, for most of us these are inactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancers
,
however
, they can
be activated
at any stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
mainly
due to eating habits and individual lifestyles. They
also
claim, that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
diagnosis and treatment would give a chance of survival from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deadly
condition.
Therefore
, it is apparent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
diagnosis is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible with the modern technology thanks to research.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
critics,
however
, are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of taking preventive steps in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. While, I believe that this is the best option I am certain that this ideology cannot
be applied
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conditions.
For instance
, AIDS is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deadly
virus that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by having safe sex
however
, humans are not perfect,
therefore
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decision or one mistake would have been fatal in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
days or have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short amount of time.
However
, thanks to modern day medicine created by research and development, an AIDS patient can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a long and happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Possible spelling mistake found.
expectance
of up to 70 years.

In conclusion
, sicknesses such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
can
be treated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if diagnosed at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
stage. Modern day medicine has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance of living a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while carrying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deadly
condition such as AIDS.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Prevention is better than cure. Research and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. v. 30

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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