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Housing is essential for people. Some argue that the government should offer free housing for people who cannot afford it. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.5

Housing is essential for people. Some argue that the government should offer free housing for people who cannot afford it. v. 5
Having a place of abode is a great relief to many individuals. As a result, some opine that the authorities should provide accommodation for the citizens who cannot obtain one for themselves. I strongly agree that they should be considered by the governing body because it would improve the economy and reduce crime rates. To start with, providing homes by government to destitute could help enhance the financial status of the country. That is to say, when these individuals are taken off the streets, they would be protected from harsh weather conditions which could breed communicable diseases. Consequently, reducing the amount spent on disease control and cure, and making funds available for more important things in the community. In addition, these sects could also start small-scale businesses in the homes, invariably improving the finance sector of the nation. For instance, the Vanguard Newspaper reported that 58% of fund used for disease prevention has now been used in infrastructure development since the government of Nigeria stated catering for the homeless. Indeed, construction of houses is beneficial to both parties. Another point to consider is the fact that, this action would help to curb crime rate. In other words, since people would have been mopped off the roads, and would no longer be desperate about where to sleep, the society would be safe to walk, since, there would not be anyone to harass others. Furthermore, this would mean that, these people would be assured of a place to lay their heads at night and not take to robbery to make ends meet. Moreover, having a place to rest, gives room to reminisce and be creative, thereby not having a reason to be involved in illicit acts. For example, the government of China, had a 78% decline in crime occurrences, when the authorities decided to build homes for the financially handicapped ones. In conclusion, when government builds homes for the less privileged, they would be able to take up lucrative businesses which would help the economy and the rate of criminal acts would decline since they would have enough room to think of how to alleviate their conditions lawfully.
Having a place of abode is a great relief to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that the authorities should provide accommodation for the citizens who cannot obtain one for themselves. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they should
be considered
by the governing body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crime rates.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to destitute could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
enhance the financial status of the country.
That is
to say, when these individuals
are taken
off the streets, they would
be protected
from harsh weather conditions which could breed communicable diseases.
Consequently
, reducing the amount spent on disease control and cure, and making funds available for more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things in the community.
In addition
, these sects could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scale businesses in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
,
invariably
improving the finance sector of the nation.
For instance
, the Vanguard Newspaper reported that 58% of fund
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for disease prevention has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in infrastructure development since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of Nigeria stated catering for the homeless.
Indeed
, construction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
is beneficial to both parties.

Another point to consider is the fact that, this action would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to curb crime rate.
In other words
, since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would have
been mopped
off the roads, and would no longer be desperate about where to sleep, the society would be safe to walk, since, there would not be anyone to harass others.
Furthermore
, this would mean that, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
be assured
of a place to lay their heads at night and not take to robbery to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
Moreover
, having a place to rest, gives room to reminisce and be creative, thereby not having a reason to
be involved
in illicit acts.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of China, had a 78% decline in crime occurrences, when the authorities decided to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
for the
financially
handicapped ones.

In conclusion
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
builds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
for the less privileged, they would be able to take up lucrative businesses which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the economy and the rate of criminal acts would decline since they would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
room to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of how to alleviate their conditions
lawfully
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Housing is essential for people. Some argue that the government should offer free housing for people who cannot afford it. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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