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Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer. v.1

Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer. v. 1
Since the beginning of the century, many things have changed for society. At the current speed of changes, for example in technology, many more changes are about to shape the way we live the remaining 80 years of this century. In this essay, possible changes will be described with examples. Firstly, this new century has been marked by fast changes in technology, mainly by the internet. Nowadays, we have smartphones with touch screens, flexible laptops and speakers that follow our instructions. I believe, that within this century, humans will be able to implant certain functions of their phones into their ears or brains directly, making the physical use of a phone unnecessary for some functions. For example, implants that sit in the ear could take over the functionof phone calls. Such implants may also be able to send text messages that we dictate, without having to type those in by hand. Secondly, concerned scientists are currently describing a dark future for humanity when it comes to climate change. Already, many countries, especially in Europe, are expieriencing hot summers with record-breaking temperatures, while others suffer from devastating storms, for example North America. I predict that hot summers will become even hotter and longer, bringing droughts to countries. I also think that weather in general will get more wild, with storms becoming more frequent and stronger, bringing more destruction and floods. However, I think that society will get more aware of climate change and will increasingly try to live a more environmentally friendly lifestyle. For example, plastic use will be seen more and more critical and electric cars will become more popular. To conclude, we can already see the beginning of changes that this century will bring, including wild weather and smarter technology. However, no one can predict the future, so it is to see, what will really happen within the next 80 years.
Since the beginning of the century,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
for society. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
speed of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
in technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are about to shape the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the remaining 80 years of this century. In this essay, possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
with examples.

Firstly
, this new century has
been marked
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in technology,
mainly
by the internet. Nowadays, we have smartphones with touch screens, flexible laptops and speakers that follow our instructions. I believe, that within this century, humans will be able to implant certain functions of their phones into their ears or brains
directly
, making the physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of a phone unnecessary for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
functions. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, implants that sit in the ear could take over the
Possible spelling mistake found.
functionof
phone calls. Such implants may
also
be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
text messages that we dictate, without having to type those in by hand.

Secondly
, concerned scientists are
currently
describing a dark future for humanity when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. Already,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
especially
in Europe, are
Possible spelling mistake found.
expieriencing
hot summers with record-breaking temperatures, while others suffer from devastating storms, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
North America. I predict that hot summers will become even hotter and longer, bringing droughts to countries. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that weather
in general
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more wild, with storms becoming more frequent and stronger, bringing more destruction and floods.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that society will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more aware of climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and will
increasingly
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a more
environmentally
friendly lifestyle. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, plastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
more and more critical and electric cars will become more popular.

To conclude
, we can already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the beginning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
that this century will bring, including wild weather and smarter technology.
However
, no one can predict the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, what will
really
happen within the
next
80 years.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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