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EXPERTS SAY IF OLDER PEOPLE SPEND THEIR TIME WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND EXERCISE DAILY THEIR LIVES WILL BE HAPPIER AND HEALTHIER. HOWEVER MANY ELDERLY ARE SUFFERING FROM LACK OF FITNESS. DISCUSS CAUSE AND SOLUTION. v.1

EXPERTS SAY IF OLDER PEOPLE SPEND THEIR TIME WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND EXERCISE DAILY THEIR LIVES WILL BE HAPPIER AND HEALTHIER. HOWEVER MANY ELDERLY ARE SUFFERING FROM LACK OF FITNESS. DISCUSS CAUSE AND SOLUTION. v. 1
Old age is an age when a person needs to pay more attention towards his/her health. Some people believe that having a daily communication and some sort of regular exercise help senior people's in maintaining happiness and remain healthier. But, there is a plethora of senior citizens suffering from diseases because of lack of fitness. In this essay, I intend to delve into the causes for lack of fitness and outline the solutions to overcome them. To begin with, old age is an age when a person needs someone to look after them, communicate with them and provide all kinds of help needed. However, it has been noted that the majority of households, currently have only old people living, as their children are migrating to another country or another place within the same country for better future prospects. Therefore, it is the need of the hour, that older people should spend a portion of their time with their existing school, college or office colleagues. In fact, in some cases visiting an old age home to meet other older people or joining some yoga classes also turns to be the best option for living a stress free and healthier life. Many elderly people nowadays are suffering from diseases because of fitness issues. It has been observed that a high number of individual's after their retirement from service remain indoors most of the time. After spending so many years in service they think that it's now the time for relaxation which results in less interaction with other people and also shows less interest towards physical exercises which ultimately have a detrimental impact on their overall health. Nowadays Resident welfare associations should become more active and engage more senior citizens in day to day work of the association. They should let them understand the benefits of interacting with other people and run some awareness programmes to educate them on the role physical exercise plays in one's life. To conclude, senior citizens should engage themselves with some sort of daily activity outside their house and regularly do physical exercise to remain fit and live a happier and healthier life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
when a person needs to pay more attention towards his/her health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that having a daily communication and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's in maintaining happiness and remain healthier.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, there is a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
citizens suffering from diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of fitness. In this essay, I intend to delve into the causes for lack of fitness and outline the solutions to overcome them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
when a person needs someone to look after them, communicate with them and provide all kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
needed.
However
, it has
been noted
that the majority of households,
currently
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living, as their children are migrating to another country or another place within the same country for better future prospects.
Therefore
, it is the need of the hour, that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend a portion of their time with their existing school, college or office colleagues. In fact, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases visiting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
other older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or joining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
yoga classes
also
turns to be the best option for living a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free and healthier life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are suffering from diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of fitness issues.

It has
been observed
that a high number of individual's after their retirement from service remain indoors most of the time. After spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years in service they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the time for relaxation which results in less interaction with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
less interest towards physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
which
ultimately
have a detrimental impact on their
overall
health.

Nowadays Resident welfare associations should become more active and engage more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
citizens in day to day work of the association. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them understand the benefits of interacting with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
awareness
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
to educate them on the role physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
plays in one's life.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
citizens should engage themselves with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of daily activity outside their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
regularly
do physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
to remain fit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a happier and healthier life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay EXPERTS SAY IF OLDER PEOPLE SPEND THEIR TIME WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND EXERCISE DAILY THEIR LIVES WILL BE HAPPIER AND HEALTHIER. HOWEVER MANY ELDERLY ARE SUFFERING FROM LACK OF FITNESS. DISCUSS CAUSE AND SOLUTION. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
355 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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