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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v.1

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 1
Every individual has been born with certain ability in life, which they develop to show their expertise. Certain classes of society think that, they can train anyone to build a particular skill. However, I am of the opinion that skills can be developed later in life and it is not necessary to be born with it. It is said that to be a sports star or musician you need to be born with the expertise of it. Those children who show an interest in sport and music in the early years perform better than those who do not. Indeed, talent in sports and music needs dedication and only those who have an interest should pursue. For instance, Rafael Nadal, a sports star is considered an epitome of Lawn Tennis and is also known as “the King of Clay”. But this did not happen overnight as he has been learning to play on clay courts since his childhood. From his debut until now we have seen him win 9 Grand slams trophy of French Open, a clay court tournament without any difficulty. Therefore, being born with the talent is an important aspect to excel in any given field. Although, been born with certain talent is crucial as the individual may struggle due to lack of skills. But, an individual can be trained for any desired skill be it sports or music. As per the book by “Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success” we need 10, 000 hours of continuous practice to develop any talent. This book provides evidence that talent can be developed with constant effort and will. Also, Robin Sharma the author of the Monk who sold his Ferrari, suggest that a habit can be developed in 21 days. These habits can cater in any form of skill sets as your brain is programmed to perform any function. This goes as per the saying by Aristotle a Greek philosopher, “we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit”. These examples show that habits are required to develop a talent for sports and musicians. In conclusion, indeed, is important for any individual to be born with certain talent as it will be easy to develop the expertise. But, being born with does not mean that talent cannot be learnt later. There are books which have been written after rigorous research which mention that talent can be created with the help of deliberate habits to program our brain. In my opinion we should not only consider talent at birth, but the one’s developed after training.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
has
been born
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
ability in life, which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their expertise.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Certain
classes of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, they can train anyone to build a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
However
, I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
later in life and it is not necessary to
be born
with it.

It
is said
that to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
star or musician you need to
be born
with the expertise of it. Those children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
an interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and music in the early years perform better than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and music needs dedication and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have an interest should pursue.
For instance
, Rafael
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nadal
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
star
is considered
an epitome of Lawn Tennis and is
also
known as “the King of Clay”.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this did not happen overnight as he has been learning to play on clay courts since his childhood. From his debut until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
him win 9 Grand slams trophy of French Open, a clay court tournament without any difficulty.
Therefore
,
being born
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect to excel in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
field.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
been born
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is crucial as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
may struggle due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can
be trained
for any desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
be it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or music. As per the book by “Malcolm
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gladwell
, Outliers: The Story of Success” we need 10, 000 hours of continuous practice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. This book provides evidence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
with constant effort and will.
Also
, Robin Sharma the author of the Monk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
sold his Ferrari,
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "suggests".
suggest
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
in 21 days. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
can cater in any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
sets as your brain
is programmed
to perform any function. This goes as per the saying by Aristotle a Greek philosopher, “we are what we
repeatedly
do. Excellence then is not an act,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit”
. These examples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
are required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and musicians.

In conclusion
,
indeed
, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to
be born
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
as it will be easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
the expertise.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
being born
with does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
cannot be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
later. There are books which have
been written
after rigorous research which mention that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
can
be created
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of deliberate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
to program our brain. In my opinion we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
at birth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
after training.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
430 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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