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Some people think that hardworking and determination are the key factors for being successful in life. Other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that hardworking and determination are the key factors for being successful in life. Other people feel that other factors are important. v. 3
Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Over the years, we have witnessed an increase in the rate at which people patronize restaurants. Most individuals often prefer to buy their meals at these places, rather than prepare their dishes at home. Eating at the cafeteria saves time and offers one different varieties, but there are some disadvantages to this practice. To begin, one evident benefit of buying food at restaurants is that it saves time. In other words, individuals with tight schedules who find it difficult to cook their meals at home, will find this option highly attractive. Another reason why cafeteria food is gaining wide popularity is that it offers one several food options. This is to say that, most people that visit these places do so because they are aware they can order whatever they choose to eat. This is usually of much importance to a customer visiting there with a family. Consequently, all the members of the family will order their preferred option. On the other hand, there are obvious drawbacks of always patronizing restaurant meals. Firstly, the dishes served may pose some risk to the body. To clarify, most restaurants often use ingredients that are harmful to the human body. This usually comes in the form of spices, in an effort to improve the taste of the dishes. As a result, the unsuspecting customers suffer varying degrees of ailments after consuming them. For example, a recent research in Lagos state, Nigeria, found out that the majority of food vendors use 'aspartame' which is known to cause disease conditions like hypertension and kidney diseases. Secondly, a lot of the food sold at restaurants is usually more expensive when compared to the home-made ones. Hence, this puts a financial strain on their regular customers. In conclusion, while there are certain benefits of purchasing foods from restaurants, the drawbacks include, the risks it may pose to health and their financial implications.
Nowadays, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Over the years, we have witnessed an increase in the rate at which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
patronize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
. Most individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their meals at these places,
rather
than prepare their dishes at home. Eating at the cafeteria saves time and offers one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
varieties,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages to this practice.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, one evident benefit of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
is that it saves time.
In other words
, individuals with tight schedules who find it difficult to cook their meals at home, will find this option
highly
attractive. Another reason why cafeteria
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is gaining wide popularity is that it offers one several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
options. This is to say that, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that visit these places do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are aware they can order whatever they choose to eat. This is
usually
of much importance to a customer visiting there with a family.
Consequently
, all the members of the family will order their preferred option.

On the other hand
, there are obvious drawbacks of always patronizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
meals.
Firstly
, the dishes served may pose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to the body. To clarify, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
ingredients that are harmful to the human body. This
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in the form of spices, in an effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the taste of the dishes.
As a result
, the unsuspecting customers suffer varying degrees of ailments after consuming them.
For example
, a recent research in Lagos state, Nigeria, found out that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
vendors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
'aspartame' which
is known
to cause disease conditions like hypertension and kidney diseases.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
sold at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
is
usually
more expensive when compared to the home-made ones.
Hence
, this puts a financial strain on their regular customers.

In conclusion
, while there are certain benefits of purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
, the drawbacks include, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
it may pose to health and their financial implications.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that hardworking and determination are the key factors for being successful in life. Other people feel that other factors are important. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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