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People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest? v.1

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1
It is a fact that many people especially elderly parents like to stay without changing their lifestyle. This essay will discuss how the generation gap is a growing problem, followed by a discussion of how teaching values is the most viable solution. One main problem of this is the generation gap why many people do not like to accept the contemporary lifestyle. This is because they are unwilling to give up their traditional and spiritual values and this creates a fear that their kids would forget to follow these beliefs. This results in developing a space amid parents and children, who are likely to be westernized to the modern culture. To illustrate this, in conventional countries such as India, people performing prayers particularly on Tuesdays and Fridays, which are considered as the purest days, have reduced to 39% amongst the younger generation. The best solution to this is to inculcate the traditional values since their childhood. This would mean that if parents pass on their values by educating the customs and rituals followed by their ancestors to their children, they might continue to their next generation. This will unlikely to have any negative impact on the modern-day lifestyle. For example, 65% of people, who shifted from developing countries, living in the developed countries follow their religious ceremony on special occasions because of being taught about the knowledge of values since their early age. In conclusion, it may be true that many parents stand firm with the same life because they are orthodox and thereby creating a gap between parents and their children, but if they offspring are taught about the traditional belief, the problem can be alleviated.
It is a fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
like to stay without changing their lifestyle. This essay will discuss how the generation gap is a growing problem, followed by a discussion of how teaching values is the most viable solution.

One main problem of this is the generation gap why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not like to accept the contemporary lifestyle. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are unwilling to give up their traditional and spiritual values and this creates a fear that their kids would forget to follow these beliefs. This results in developing a space amid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and children, who are likely to be
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some verbs that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Westernized".
westernized
to the modern culture. To illustrate this, in conventional countries such as India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
performing prayers
particularly
on Tuesdays and Fridays, which
are considered
as the purest days, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to 39% amongst the younger generation.

The best solution to this is to inculcate the traditional values since their childhood. This would mean that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
pass on their values by educating the customs and rituals followed by their ancestors to their children, they might continue to their
next
generation. This will unlikely to have any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the modern-day lifestyle.
For example
, 65% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who shifted from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, living in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
follow their religious ceremony on special occasions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
being taught
about the knowledge of values since their early age.

In conclusion
, it may be true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
stand firm with the same life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are orthodox and thereby creating a gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they offspring
are taught
about the traditional belief, the problem can
be alleviated
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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