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Poor countries should become rich first and reduce CO<sub>2</sub> emissions later. Or should they start to deal with it right now? v.1

Poor countries should become rich first and reduce CO<sub>2</sub> emissions later. Or should they start to deal with it right now? v. 1
While having lifted themselves up from poverty and agricultural economics, the industrialised nations have left many environmental issues caused by the increased amount of carbon dioxide (CO2) they have produced. From the economic perspective, some people are seriously convinced that poor developing countries ought to consider enhancing their economic status first without taking into account the reduction of CO2 emissions. Nevertheless, this essay will elaborate from both economic and environmental standpoints that developing nations should think about reducing CO2 emissions now whilst improving their economics. First, environment issues are more severe than the economic status. As obviously shown by news on CNN or BBC, there are many terrible skin diseases happening in the developed world due to the drastic increase of Ultraviolet radiation that penetrates the Ozone layers--destroyed by greenhouse gases. Without proper management of the CO2 emissions, the global warming will not only affect locally but also globally. Remarkably, it will cause more much national budgets to effectively tackle the problems than to reduce the CO2 emissions prior to the occurrence of environmental issues, which certainly is not a benefit for the poor countries. Second, using technologies that are based on the burning of fossil fuels is not way better than utilising renewable energy sources. Alternatively, to become richer, poor and developing countries do not necessarily need use fossil fuels for energy consumption. A case in point is the use of solar energy and hydroelectric power. These two environmental-friendly options are cheaper than using the petroleum to generate power, which costs much money and, in return, produces CO2, harming the environment. Furthermore, reducing the emissions of CO2 will also be a brilliant idea when it comes to developing tourism sector. Tourists are visiting countries which are refreshing and free from environmental problems. No one wants to absorb toxic airs. In this regard, the developing nations who care much about the reduction of CO2 emissions will be able to efficiently attract people to visit, which also gives rise to the economic growth. Taking everything into consideration, we can come to a conclusion that the reduction of CO2 emissions is more vital for developing nations to get rich in a long run than to deal with the far-reaching consequences of the environmental problems later.
While having lifted themselves up from poverty and agricultural
economics
, the
industrialised
nations
have
left
many
environmental
issues caused by the increased amount of carbon dioxide (CO2) they have produced. From the
economic
perspective,
some
people
are
seriously
convinced that poor
developing
countries ought to consider enhancing their
economic
status
first
without taking into account the reduction of CO2
emissions
.
Nevertheless
, this essay will elaborate from both
economic
and
environmental
standpoints that
developing
nations
should
think
about reducing CO2
emissions
now
whilst improving their economics.

First
, environment issues are more severe than the
economic
status. As
obviously
shown by news on CNN or BBC, there are
many
terrible skin diseases happening in the developed world due to the drastic increase of Ultraviolet radiation that penetrates the Ozone layers--
destroyed
by greenhouse gases. Without proper management of the CO2
emissions
, the global warming will not
only
affect
locally
but
also
globally.
Remarkably
, it will cause more much national budgets to
effectively
tackle the problems than to
reduce
the CO2
emissions
prior to the occurrence of
environmental
issues, which
certainly
is not a benefit for the poor countries.

Second, using technologies that
are based
on the burning of fossil fuels is not way better than
utilising
renewable energy sources.
Alternatively
, to become richer, poor and
developing
countries do not
necessarily
need
use
fossil fuels for energy consumption. A case in point is the
use
of solar energy and hydroelectric power. These two environmental-friendly options are cheaper than using the petroleum to generate power, which costs much money and, in return, produces CO2, harming the environment.
Furthermore
, reducing the
emissions
of CO2 will
also
be a brilliant
idea
when it
comes
to
developing
tourism sector. Tourists are visiting countries which are refreshing and free from
environmental
problems. No one wants to absorb toxic airs. In this regard, the
developing
nations
who care much about the reduction of CO2
emissions
will be able to
efficiently
attract
people
to visit, which
also
gives rise to the
economic
growth.

Taking everything into consideration, we can
come
to a conclusion that the reduction of CO2
emissions
is more vital for
developing
nations
to
get
rich in a long run than to deal with the far-reaching consequences of the
environmental
problems later.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Poor countries should become rich first and reduce CO<sub>2</sub> emissions later. Or should they start to deal with it right now? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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