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Children who start reading reading earlier in life perform better later on in their school studies How important are the early reading skills in a child s academic performance What other pre school factors influence a child s later academic achievements v.1

Children who start reading reading earlier in life perform better later on in their school studies How important are the early reading skills in a child s academic performance What other pre school factors influence a child s later academic achievements v. 1
This essay talks about why animals should be employed to satisfy our needs and also why they should not be exploited and be treated as humans. Animals should be employed by humans because, they provide food. If everyone was eating vegetables, then there would be scarce food resources, but animals help to maintain the balance. The animals also provide great help in research. We can study animals and they can tell us more about our past since some of them are known to live longer than the history of humankind. Similarly, they can also be helpful to provide medication. For example, researching on why mosquitoes do not transmit HIV AIDs even if they take blood from an HIV positive person can lead cure for HIV and how we can stop it from spreading. On the other hand, animals should also be treated as humans since they are seen to have developed emotions towards humans and for some people, their pets are their best friend who helps them relax and reduce loneliness which makes a person mentally healthy. Some animals are even smarter than us and can carry out tasks that a normal human cannot. This tells us that animals are not so different from humans. In conclusion, I believe that animals should be employed by humans but only for the purpose of providing food and helping in research and yet they have to be handled with the same care that a human would receive if he/she was to be researched on.
This essay talks about why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be employed
to satisfy our needs and
also
why they should not
be exploited
and
be treated
as humans.

Animals should
be employed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they provide food. If everyone was eating vegetables, then there would be scarce food resources,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to maintain the balance. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
also
provide great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in research. We can study
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
animals and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us more about our past since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
are known
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer than the history of humankind.
Similarly
, they can
also
be helpful to provide medication.
For example
, researching on why mosquitoes do not transmit HIV
Possible spelling mistake found.
AIDs even
if they take blood from an HIV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
person can lead cure for HIV and how we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
it from spreading.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
also
be treated
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
since they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to have developed emotions towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, their pets are their best friend who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them relax and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
loneliness which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person mentally healthy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are even smarter than us and can carry out tasks that a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
cannot. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from humans.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be employed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the purpose of providing food and helping in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
research and
yet
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be handled
with the same care that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
would receive if he/she was to
be researched
on.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Children who start reading reading earlier in life perform better later on in their school studies How important are the early reading skills in a child s academic performance What other pre school factors influence a child s later academic achievements v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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