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Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from the way that many countries are developing and becoming richer. Some think this cannot be avoided. v.2

Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from the way that many countries are developing and becoming richer. Some think this cannot be avoided. v. 2
The earth is faced with many problems and one of the biggest is air pollution which is happening because of the role of humans in the destruction of the environment. On the ground that environmentalists and people trying their best to protect humans' habitat from humans' activities. Accordingly, their endeavors' outcome is introducing numerous laws to force countries to intervene and preserve the environment. However, I adamantly hold the belief that this kinds of activities are not under the control of the people. I feel this way because of two main reasons that I will explore in the following. First and foremost, the ultimate goal of any countries is increasing GDP which is the value of all the product produced in the geographical region of a country. It would be achievable only by developing and encouraging private sectors same as industries and companies to provide products which both have high quality and are economical. accordingly, if governments interfere and inhibit the activities of a sector, it would not only increase its cost but also will soar the price of the products. Admittedly, with a higher price, government and private sector will lose in the war of competition, since other countries will not make hinderance for the companies to have maximized profits and they can supply merchandises with the lower price. secondly, a group of people believes that international agencies should oblige countries to protect the environment. However, I think that it not practical. As I mentioned previously, in the way of prospering, governments cannot and should not build obstacles for private sectors. Although they may vote for environmental reforms in the international gathering in order to preserve their face in the public and between journalists, the likelihood of cheating is a lot since they can take a better position in the competitions and provide products with the lower price to the world. in a nutshell, I believe that air pollution and environmental destruction resulting from countries' development is unavoidable.
The earth
is faced
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems and one of the biggest is air pollution which is happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the role of humans in the destruction of the environment. On the ground that environmentalists and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
trying their best to protect
Possible spelling mistake found.
humans&
#039; habitat from
Possible spelling mistake found.
humans&
#039; activities.
Accordingly
, their
Possible spelling mistake found.
endeavors&
#039; outcome is introducing numerous laws to force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to intervene and preserve the environment.
However
, I
adamantly
hold the belief that
Did you mean "these"?
this
kinds of activities are not under the control of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. I feel this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two main reasons that I will explore in the following.

First
and foremost, the ultimate goal of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is increasing GDP which is the value of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
produced in the geographical region of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It would be achievable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by developing and encouraging private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
same as industries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which both have high quality and are economical.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
accordingly
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
interfere and inhibit the activities of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, it would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increase its cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will soar the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Admittedly
, with a higher price,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
will lose in the war of competition, since other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
hinderance
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to have maximized
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
profits and
they can supply merchandises with the lower price.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believes that international agencies should oblige
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to protect the environment.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
not practical. As I mentioned previously, in the way of prospering,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
cannot and should not build obstacles for private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
. Although they may vote for environmental reforms in the international gathering in order to preserve their face in the public and between journalists, the likelihood of cheating is a lot since they can take a better position in the competitions and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with the lower price to the world.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
a nutshell, I believe that air pollution and environmental destruction resulting from
Possible spelling mistake found.
countries&
#039; development is unavoidable.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from the way that many countries are developing and becoming richer. Some think this cannot be avoided. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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