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Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country's developing and becoming richer. Some think this cannot be avoided. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country's developing and becoming richer. Some think this cannot be avoided. v. 1
The biggest concern in today’s world is pollution and environmental waste. As countries are progressing and become wealthier environmental problem are growing day by day which cannot be neglected. I totally agree with statement. First of all, in developing countries pollution is the main problem for the atmosphere. To become richer state, country depend on their industries which eventually create the industrial waste. Moreover, poor infrastructure also cause not only ecological but also effect the healthy environment. For instance, a research is conducted by university of Mumbai, 60% of total environmental issues is created by industries which include pollution and other toxic waste. Secondly, the effect of pollution and environmental issue on human health is so dangerous that it cannot be avoided. The smog atmosphere generated the toxics in air which increase the diseases of lung and throat. Moreover, it not only effect humans but other species on this planet. In last few years, we have seen that large number of dead fishes are coming on shore of oceans around the world. This situations become the eye opener for decision maker of developing countries. For example, in mid 90s London face the smoky and fog weather which effects the health of senior citizen and children. Eventually, this weather cost many lives which makes the policy maker and other streak holder to think about this and takes major steps to dispose the industrial wastage as well the air pollution. To conclude this, we can only overcome the pollution and environmental is to create the eco-friendly environment.
The biggest concern in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
waste. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are progressing and become wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problem are growing day by day which cannot
be neglected
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with statement.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in developing
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is the main problem for the atmosphere. To become richer state,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
depend on their industries which
eventually
create the industrial waste.
Moreover
, poor infrastructure
also
cause not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ecological
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
the healthy environment.
For instance
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
is conducted
by university of Mumbai, 60% of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues
is created
by industries which include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and other toxic waste.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issue on human health is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
that it cannot
be avoided
. The smog atmosphere generated the toxics in air which increase the diseases of lung and throat.
Moreover
, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other species on this planet. In last few years, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that large number of dead fishes are coming on shore of oceans around the world.
Did you mean "these"?
This
situations become the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
eye opener
for decision maker of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, in mid 90s London face the smoky and fog weather which effects the health of senior citizen and children.
Eventually
, this weather cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy maker
and other streak holder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about this and takes major steps to dispose the industrial wastage
as well
the air pollution.

To conclude
this, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
is to create the eco-friendly environment.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country's developing and becoming richer. Some think this cannot be avoided. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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