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Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country’s developing and becoming richer some think this can not be avoided. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country’s developing and becoming richer some think this can not be avoided. v. 1
Contamination as well as different environmental obstacles are often considered to be the direct result of countries development along with economic growth. Few individuals perceive that this can not be neglected. However; According to my perceptional I firmly disagree to large extent with the given statement. My inclination along with justification would be explained in the ensuing paragraphs. There are several aspect to support the arguments. The most valid argument is that; government has better chalk out a plan to mitigate is pollution. This is to say, proper planning and inspection from the administration can ensure the minimal emission of gas and other toxic elements into the water and air. Furthermore; if the jurisdiction does not take actions on factory emission the problem of pollution will get worse. In addition to this, pollution is global issue and proper law and enforcement of laws can reduct it to a large extent. To elaborate, the greater percentage of environmental adulteration are caused by the human action. So that we should educate people, encourage them, enforce strict law to solve our environment. Moreover; though pollution is rampant problem in the world, it can be solved by growing large number of trees. Because trees are able to clean the air, and absorb harmful gas pollution. On the contrary, I would not overlook the other side too. To begin with, the ultimate goal of any countries is increasing GDP. To support it can be explained that, increase. GDP would be achievable only by encourage industries to provide high quality product. If government restrict this industries, it would not only increase its cost but also will soar the price of product. Last but not least the effect of pollution and environmental issue on human health is so dangerous that it can not be avoided. The reason is that this smog atmosphere generated the toxics in air which increase the disease of lung and throat which affect humans. Thus to conclude the discussion it can be finally said that, development and industrialization affect the environment. Although encourage industry to provide high quality of product, take actions on factory emissions and encourage them to enforce strict laws to make the world the better place for the future generations.
Contamination
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environmental obstacles are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered to be the direct result of countries development along with economic growth. Few individuals perceive that this can not
be neglected
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
; According to my perceptional I
firmly
disagree to large extent with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. My inclination along with justification would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the ensuing paragraphs.

There are
Possible agreement error. The noun aspect seems to be countable; consider using: "several aspects".
several aspect
to support the arguments. The most valid argument is that;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has better chalk out a plan to mitigate is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. This is to say, proper planning and inspection from the administration can ensure the minimal emission of gas and other toxic elements into the water and air.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
; if the jurisdiction does not take actions on factory emission the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse.

In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is global issue and proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
and enforcement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
reduct
it to a large extent. To elaborate, the greater percentage of environmental adulteration
are caused
by the human action.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that we should educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
them, enforce strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
to solve our environment.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
; though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is rampant problem in the world, it can
be solved
by growing large number of trees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
trees are able to clean the air, and absorb harmful gas pollution.

On the contrary
, I would not overlook the other side too. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the ultimate goal of any countries is increasing GDP. To support it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that, increase. GDP would be achievable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
industries to provide high quality product. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
restrict
Did you mean "these"?
this
industries, it would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increase its cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will soar the price of product. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least the effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and environmental issue on human health is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
that it can not
be avoided
. The reason is that this smog atmosphere generated the toxics in air which increase the disease of lung and throat which affect humans.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
to conclude
the discussion it can be
finally
said that, development and industrialization affect the environment. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
industry to provide high quality of product, take actions on factory emissions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
them to enforce strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world the better place for the future generations.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country’s developing and becoming richer some think this can not be avoided. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
370 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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