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Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country's developing and becoming richer. Some think this cannot be avoided. v.2

Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country's developing and becoming richer. Some think this cannot be avoided. v. 2
Environmental problems and pollutions are often considered to be the direct result of a country’s development. Industrialisation, growing number of factories, people’s capability of purchasing more cars and electronic device etc. are often related to the economic condition and growth of a nation. However, I do not agree that pollution and other environmental problems are caused only because of the economic growth of a country and that this cannot be avoided. First, it does not take an expert to understand that pollution and environmental problems are more prominent in poor countries than that of rich countries. Air, sound and water pollutions in countries like India and Bangladesh are far dangerous than that of developed countries like Australia, Canada and the UK. Furthermore, the number of factories does not represent the amount of pollution it causes. For instance, recent researches have made it clear that only a few garments factories in a country like Bangladesh cause far more damage to the air and water resources than hundreds of bigger industries do in the United States. Second, economic development does not mean that a country will have industries and factories all over the country. Proper planning and inspection from the government can ensure the minimal emission of gas and other toxic elements into the water and air. So even if the industrialisation is imminent for the development of a country, it does not mean that we will have no way to minimise the pollution and environmental issues. For instance, industrialisation does not cause as much deforestation as it is caused by human greed and lack of inspection and law in many countries. Finally, pollution is a global issue and proper law and enforcement of laws can reduce it to a great extent. We cannot stop the natural causes of pollution but the greater percentages of environmental pollutions are caused by the human actions. We should educate people, encourage them and enforce strict laws to save our environment while development of a country has nothing to do with the rampant pollution we can see nowadays in many cities. In conclusion, I would agree that development and industrialisation affect the environment negatively to some extent but this is not the prime factor in polluting our environment. We still have time and lot of options to reduce the pollutions and environmental problems to make the world a better place for the future generation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered to be the direct result of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Industrialisation' is British English.
Industrialisation
, growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s capability of purchasing more cars and electronic device etc. are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
related to the economic condition and growth of a nation.
However
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are caused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the economic growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and that this cannot
be avoided
.

First
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not take an expert to understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are more prominent in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
than that of rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Air, sound and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like India and Bangladesh are far
Use "(dangerous)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
dangerous
than that of developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Australia, Canada and the UK.
Furthermore
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not represent the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
.
For instance
, recent researches have made it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few garments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like Bangladesh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
far more damage to the air and water resources than hundreds of bigger industries do in the United States.

Second, economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not mean that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will have industries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Proper planning and inspection from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can ensure the minimal emission of gas and other toxic elements into the water and air.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
even if the
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
is imminent for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not mean that we will have no way to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
as much deforestation as it
is caused
by human greed and lack of inspection and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is a global issue and proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
and enforcement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it to a great extent. We cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the greater percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
are caused
by the human actions. We should educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, encourage them and enforce strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to save our environment while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has nothing to do with the rampant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
nowadays in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities.

In conclusion
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
affect the environment
negatively
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not the prime factor in polluting our environment. We
still
have time and
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
options to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a better place for the future generation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country's developing and becoming richer. Some think this cannot be avoided. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
398 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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