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Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects at university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? what are the effects on society? v.1

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects at university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? what are the effects on society? v. 1
It is true that the number of science students is becoming inadequate in different parts of the world nowadays. The essay below will analyze some explanations for this situation as well as its influence on society. There are two principal factors that contribute to the common disinterest in the science subjects. First and foremost, those subjects are often challenging and required a lots of diligence as well as a great deal of patience and intelligence. For example, the number of researches that an average Biology student has to do is more than other subjects with a higher level of both difficulty and commitment, which discourages many students from choosing science as their majors. Secondly, employment opportunities in this particular field are limited and extremely competitive. Although a huge amount of time and effort is spent on science studies at school, there is still little chance for them to get a job after graduation. Society greatly suffers from the scarcity of human resources in science fields. Apparently, as the number of science students is insignificant, other majors such as business or economics become prevalent, hence the imbalance in the future workforce. In fact, competitiveness increased due to too many degree holders of the same expertise pushes a worrying number of graduates to the verge of unemployment. Another problem is the shortage of science professionals as qualified employees are low in number. Unless more students decided to study science at university, sooner or later we would have to face a major human resource crisis. In conclusion, hurdles regarding some strict requirements of science subjects and employment opportunities are factored in a lot of students not choosing such subjects to study, and there serious problems arising from this situation.
It is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is becoming inadequate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world nowadays. The essay below will analyze
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
explanations for this situation
as well
as its influence on society.

There are two principal factors that contribute to the common disinterest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
First
and foremost, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
challenging and required
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a lot" or simply "lots"?
a lots
of diligence
as well
as a great deal of patience and intelligence.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of researches that an average Biology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do is more than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
with a higher level of both difficulty and commitment, which discourages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
as their majors.
Secondly
, employment opportunities in this particular field
are limited
and
extremely
competitive. Although a huge amount of time and effort
is spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
studies at school, there is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
chance for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job after graduation.

Society
greatly
suffers from the scarcity of human resources in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
fields.
Apparently
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is insignificant, other majors such as business or economics become prevalent,
hence
the imbalance in the future workforce. In fact, competitiveness increased due to too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
degree holders of the same expertise pushes a worrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of graduates to the verge of unemployment. Another problem is the shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
professionals as qualified employees are low in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
. Unless more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decided to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
at university, sooner or later we would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face a major human resource crisis.

In conclusion
, hurdles regarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict requirements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and employment opportunities
are factored
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not choosing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to study, and there serious problems arising from this situation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects at university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? what are the effects on society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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