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These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country. v.5

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country. v. 5
Nowadays, many people are migrating to different countries for studying or to find jobs. There are many pros regarding working and living in foreign countries but few cons. Like younger generation seeking for a job or for study purpose has better opportunities and even their standard of living also increases. To commence with, there are many advantages in establishing a new life in abroad. Which help them them to learn new culture, skills from that country. Moreover, if they work with the knowledge they gained from the university, they can earn good amount of money and can increase there standard of living. For instance, Engineering graduates having university certificates from foreign countries have more work scopes and the major benefit to the students is, while studying they can even earn for themselves. Even other field students also have more options and can enhance their skills and knowledge while working in overseas countries. On a contrary, people also face some of the problems whilst living and working in foreign countries. Like food issues, many students and Migrator find difficulties in search of vegetarian food. Many have to cook for themselves and carry it to schools and workplaces. Secondly, climatic changes also cause many respiratory problems. For example, in Northern part of Canada the weather at its peaks, so it becomes difficult for the population, especially younger and older generation to survive in such extreme conditions. In addition people also feel homesick, if they are away from their families. At the end of the discussion, I would like to say that advantages over weight disadvantage because there are more opportunities for all age people in foreign countries.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for studying or to find jobs. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros regarding working and living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
few cons. Like younger generation seeking for a job or for study purpose has better opportunities and even their standard of living
also
increases.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages in establishing a new life in abroad. Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible typo: you repeated a word
them them
to learn new culture,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
, if they work with the knowledge they gained from the university, they can earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of money and can increase there standard of living.

For instance
, Engineering
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduates from".
graduates
having university certificates from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have more work scopes and the major benefit to the students is, while studying they can even earn for themselves. Even other field students
also
have more options and can enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge while working in overseas countries.

On a contrary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
face
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
problems whilst living and working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Like food issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students and Migrator find difficulties in search of vegetarian food.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cook for themselves and carry it to schools and workplaces.
Secondly
, climatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
also
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
respiratory problems.
For example
, in Northern part of Canada the weather at its peaks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it becomes difficult for the population,
especially
younger and older generation to survive in such extreme conditions. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
feel homesick, if they are away from their families.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the discussion, I would like to say that advantages over weight disadvantage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are more opportunities for all age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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