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The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. v.4

The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. v. 4
Many people think that the best way to improve road safety is by giving stricter punishment to careless drivers. To a certain point, I would agree with the statement, but there are other methods that could also be used to improve it as imposing a stricter penalty, in my opinion, is not the only way to ensure safety on roads. On the one hand, it is true that having a stricter punishment and increasing the penalties for irresponsible drivers would reduce traffic accidents and improve road safety. For example, it is a fact that using a mobile phone while driving a car is a dangerous act. However, due to the light punishment, many people still use the phone while driving. Should the authority change the punishment into a heavier one, then people will consider twice before they use the phone while driving. Besides, violation of any traffic rule can lead to a severe accident and if the punishment is made a stern, people would likely obey them. On the other hand, there is another method that the government could use in improving road safety besides having a stricter punishment. The government could make a campaign about safety driving through various media which would show the effect of careless driving. For instance, the government could make a safety video about road safety and upload it in social media since the message will be effectively spread in this kind of media. As more people are watching these videos, it is hoped that drivers will have a clearer view of safety driving. In conclusion, to a certain extent, I agree that having a stricter punishment would improve road safety. But I also believe that it should also be supported with other ways, and one of them is by giving audio-visual shows about safety driving.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
is by giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to careless drivers. To a certain point, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are other methods that could
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
it as imposing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stricter
penalty, in my opinion, is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
on roads.

On the one hand, it is true that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
and increasing the penalties for irresponsible drivers would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic accidents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
For example
, it is a fact that using a mobile phone while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
a car is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
act.
However
, due to the light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the phone while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. Should the authority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
into a heavier one, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will consider twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the phone while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
.
Besides
, violation of any traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
can lead to a severe accident and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is made
a stern,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would likely obey them.

On the other hand
, there is another method that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
besides
having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a campaign about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
through various media which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the effect of careless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
video about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
and upload it in social media since the message will be
effectively
spread in this kind of media. As more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are watching these videos, it
is hoped
that drivers will have a clearer view of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
driving.

In conclusion
, to a certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
also
believe that it should
also
be supported
with other ways, and one of them is by giving audio-visual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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