Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. v.3

The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. v. 3
In my opinion, one of the major causes of road accidents is the violation of traffic rules. The best way to keep the drivers to remain law obedient is to give them punishment for offensive driving and for breaking the traffic rules. According to me, the punishment must be very proportional to the mistake made. Life is very precious and many people die annually in traffic accidents and much more get severely injured. To avoid traffic accidents, the law must be very strict and vibrant. There are many scenarios of unlawfully driving. Young drivers seek pleasure with very high-speed driving. Some bike riders get enjoyment while driving on one wheel. Some drivers think that wearing the seat belt is putting a burden on their body. Few people even drive while they are drunk and they lose the good control on wheel and pedals. The only way to stop this lawlessness is to award the punishment. Punishment may be in the form of money, imprisonment, confiscation of licence, making the insurance high. There are wide varieties of offenders; some do it for the sake of thrills and others due to human error and negligence. I believe that when there is an element of human error, a warning is enough. If we impose a heavy fine for minor human errors then people will drive with anxiety and ultimately will lose confidence on wheels. My personal opinion is to educate the people before issuance of the licence. In temporary licensure period, drivers will learn about rules and regulation of roads, the negative effect of alcohol in driving, maintenance of the vehicle, own health, road safety etc. When someone will know about every bit of law and keeping in mind the consequences of violation then there will be least chances of offending the law and jeopardising of life. Life is very precious and state should frame every rule possible for the provision of ultimate security to road users. Firstly drivers should be educated then given a warning for minor human errors and lastly strict punishment for violation of rules.
In my opinion, one of the major causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accidents is the violation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
. The best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
to remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
obedient is to give them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for offensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
and for breaking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proportional to the mistake made.

Life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precious and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
annually
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents and much more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
severely
injured. To avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict and vibrant. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scenarios of
unlawfully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
seek pleasure with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
bike riders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enjoyment while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
on one wheel.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that wearing the seat belt is putting a burden on their body. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even drive while they are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
drunk and
they lose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
control on wheel and pedals. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this lawlessness is to award the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Punishment
may be in the form of money, imprisonment, confiscation of
Possible spelling mistake. 'licence' is British English.
licence
, making the insurance high.

There are wide varieties of offenders;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do it for the sake of thrills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
error
and negligence. I believe that when there is an element of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
error
, a warning is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. If we impose a heavy fine for minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
errors
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will drive with anxiety and
ultimately
will lose confidence on wheels. My personal opinion is to educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
issuance of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'licence' is British English.
licence
. In temporary licensure period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
will learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of alcohol in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, maintenance of the vehicle,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety etc. When someone will know about every bit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
and keeping in mind the consequences of violation then there will be
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
chances of offending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jeopardising' is British English.
jeopardising
of life.

Life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precious and state should frame every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
possible for the provision of ultimate security to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
users.
Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
should
be educated
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a warning for minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
errors
and
lastly
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for violation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts