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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.6

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 6
Nowadays it seems to be boring for people to go to travel to some locations where we used to go, e. g. Japan or Europe. People would like to have some exciting experiences on their trip, so they choose places like the Sahara desert or places that ordinary people cannot even name. These places have tough conditions. Therefore, there must be some good things and bad things if we travel in these places. From an optimistic viewpoint, people would like to travel to these extraordinary places to experience something different, usually the things they see or try in these locations are unique; they cannot find them in cities with tall buildings. For example, the light in the Antarctic regions. People who have seen them all say it is a once in a lifetime experience and they will not forget it till they die. And indeed, seeing these special sceneries is really unforgettable and no other places in the world have them. Besides sceneries, people can also experience some very different lifestyles and culture which they have never seen if they live in a city. However, there is also a bad side if people travel in these places. As the conditions are tough in these areas, they may experience extreme temperatures. People who are used to a city lifestyle may not know how to deal with them. In some severe cases, people may need immediate rescue, but as these areas are usually not ordinary residential areas, it is not easy for any emergency services to access them. It is very difficult to get help from other people as there is no one around. In conclusion, it is necessary for people to understand the risks before they visit these places, and after thorough consideration, if they still want to go, they have to make sure they get very well-prepared and go at their own risk.
Nowadays it seems to be boring for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
locations where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go,
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
Japan or Europe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
would like to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exciting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
on their trip,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like the Sahara desert or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
that ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot even name. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
have tough conditions.
Therefore
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in these places.

From an optimistic viewpoint,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to these extraordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
usually
the things they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
or try in these locations are unique; they cannot find them in cities with tall buildings.
For example
, the light in the Antarctic regions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
them all say it is a once in a lifetime
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they will not forget it till they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. And
indeed
, seeing these special sceneries is
really
unforgettable and no other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in the world have them.
Besides
sceneries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lifestyles and culture which they have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a city.

However
, there is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
side if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. As the conditions are tough in these areas, they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
extreme temperatures.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to a city lifestyle may not know how to deal with them. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
severe cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may need immediate rescue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as these areas are
usually
not ordinary residential areas, it is not easy for any emergency services to access them. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as there is no one around.

In conclusion
, it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to understand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they visit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, and after thorough consideration, if they
still
want to go, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well-prepared and go at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.6