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Pollution and other environmental damages are caused by a country developing and becoming richer. This problem cannot be avoided. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Some people argue that it is impossible for developing countries to further develop without damaging the environment. In their opinion, economic growth should be the first priority of the government. I do not agree with this view. In my opinion, economic growth is important but it cannot be at the expense of the environment. When nations develop, they will require more resources. For example, developing countries like India and China need more fuel to power their growth. Excessive consumption of fossil fuels, unfortunately, leads to the emission of carbon dioxide and accelerates the rate of global warming. This, however, does not mean that these countries should be allowed to pollute for the sake of their development. Of course, they need to develop but the need of the hour is the development of sustainable sources of energy. All countries should invest in green and clean energy sources. For example, in nations lying on either side of the equator there is considerable potential for harnessing solar energy. Countries that produce excess amount of green energy can sell it to other countries. Rich nations that are technologically and scientifically more advanced should share the technical know-how with poor and developing nations so that they can also take advantage of newer and greener technologies for a better tomorrow. Environmental problems are not limited to any particular country and it is foolish to claim that only those nations that pollute should do something about it. Before long, the impact of pollution caused by rapidly developing nations will also be felt in the developed world. To conclude, since our survival depends on the environment we cannot ignore environmental problems on the pretext that they are a byproduct of development. Of course, there is a need for development but it is time we said no to development that destroys the planet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it is impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
further
develop without damaging the environment. In their opinion, economic growth should be the
first
priority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. In my opinion, economic growth is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot be at the expense of the environment.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
develop, they will require more resources.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like India and China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more fuel to power their growth. Excessive consumption of fossil fuels, unfortunately, leads to the emission of carbon dioxide and accelerates the rate of global warming. This,
however
, does not mean that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to pollute for the sake of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
Of course
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of the hour is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of sustainable sources of energy.

All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should invest in green and clean energy sources.
For example
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
lying on either side of the equator there is considerable potential for harnessing solar energy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
that produce excess amount of green energy can sell it to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
that are
technologically
and
scientifically
more advanced should share the technical know-how with poor and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
also
take advantage of newer and greener technologies for a better tomorrow.

Environmental problems are not limited to any particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and it is foolish to claim that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
that pollute should do something about it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
long, the impact of pollution caused by
rapidly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
will
also
be felt
in the developed world.

To conclude
, since our survival depends on the environment we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
environmental problems on the pretext that they are a byproduct of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
Of course
, there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is time we said no to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
the planet.
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Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Pollution and other environmental damages are caused by a country developing and becoming richer. This problem cannot be avoided.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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