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Organized tour to remote community and other countries is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and environment v.5

Organized tour to remote community and other countries is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and environment v. 5
It is true that organized tours to faraway nations has enormously gained in popularity in recent times. While this trend seems to be advantageous to locals, it tends to have deleterious effects on the climate. I believe indigenous peoples can enjoy two possible merits of organized tours. Firstly, when enthusiastic foreigners take a trip to a country, they are likely to share their culture, including cuisines, customs, and historical landmarks of their own country. The natives, in this way, can broaden their horizons, which in turn, may become open-minded regarding outsiders’ mentality. Secondly, with tourists visiting other communities via organized tours, there can be more employment possibilities for the locals. It would seem that accomьodation units, such as hotels, motels, and hostels would be favoured by organized tours. This is because these tours tend to make a booking in these units, necessitating locals erect more of them. Regarding surroundings, I would argue that organized tours may be detrimental because of two main factors. One might be the littering issue since overseas individuals tend to litter. They are more likely to go sightseeing and visit spectacular landscapes in the destination country. These tourists, subsequently, may eat food from the lunch box, or drink beverages, leaving all of their residue behind when abandoning the suburbs. The other perplexing problem would revolve around the economy. Regulatory authorities may be obliged to allocate substantial amounts of money to keeping the habitat, clean because of the littering habit of tourists. The governing body, consequently, might cut the budget dedicated to other primary concerns like health and education, rendering these crucial institutions under funded. In conclusion, although organized tours may have tangible benefits to local people, it tends to exert negative influences on the climate.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tours
to faraway nations has
enormously
gained in popularity in recent times. While this trend seems to be advantageous to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tends
to have deleterious effects on the climate.

I believe indigenous peoples can enjoy two possible merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tours
.
Firstly
, when enthusiastic foreigners take a trip to a country, they are likely to share their culture, including cuisines, customs, and historical landmarks of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country. The natives, in this way, can broaden their horizons, which in turn, may become open-minded regarding outsiders’ mentality.
Secondly
, with tourists visiting other communities via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tours
, there can be more employment possibilities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. It would seem that
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomьodation
units, such as hotels, motels, and hostels would be
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tours
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a booking in these units, necessitating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
erect more of them.

Regarding surroundings, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tours
may be detrimental
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two main factors. One might be the littering issue since overseas individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to litter. They are more likely to go sightseeing and visit spectacular landscapes in the destination country. These tourists,
subsequently
, may eat food from the lunch box, or drink beverages, leaving all of their residue behind when abandoning the suburbs. The other perplexing problem would revolve around the economy. Regulatory authorities may
be obliged
to allocate substantial amounts of money to keeping the habitat, clean
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the littering habit of tourists. The governing body,
consequently
, might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the budget dedicated to other primary concerns like health and education, rendering these crucial institutions under funded.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tours
may have tangible benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tends
to exert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences on the climate.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Organized tour to remote community and other countries is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and environment v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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