Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Solving enviromental problems should be the responsibility of one inernational organization rather than each national government. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Solving enviromental problems should be the responsibility of one inernational organization rather than each national government. v. 1
In this day and age, along with the rapid development of modern society, a wide range of problems related to the environment is inevitable. From my personal perspective, an international organization and local government should join hands to handle the green issues and distribute the responsibility equally. On the one hand, I am of the opinion that addressing the green issues is the duty of one transnational organization. Firstly, there are plenty of reasons that lead to environmental problems such as air pollution, global warming, deforestation and even more severe natural calamities like ice-melting in both North and South Pole, greenhouse effect, ozone depletion. Those causes that I have just mentioned occur worldwide and have negative impacts on all countries regardless of how wealthy they are. No single nation can deal with these issues completely, thus having a global organisation to solve these problems would allow greater cooperation among countries. Secondly, some undeveloped countries may lack experience and required techniques to tackle the green issues effectively. Therefore, unless rich countries subsidize poor ones, it would be impossible to wipe out those matters. On the other hand, I am in favor of the idea that every local government should handle their own environmental problems. Each nation has its own issues which stem from a variety of causes and as a result, different approaches and solutions must be imposed timely to minimize the consequences of these problematic issues. For instance, in recent years, China has experienced a serious air pollution due to the huge amount of exhausted fumes emitted by personal vehicles. In order to remedy this problem, Chinese authority has lifted a ban to vehicles commuting in major cities during rush hours. Meanwhile, some countries in Africa have to suffer a severe drought that results in thousands of people have insufficient fresh water. Hence, it is undoubted that every nation should come up with their distinct solution to handle their green issues. In conclusion, although it is argued that the duty of preserving the environment should fall to one international organization instead of local governments, I do believe that this phenomenon should be coped with together to get the maximum effects.
In this day and age, along with the rapid development of modern society, a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to the environment is inevitable. From my personal perspective, an international organization and local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands to handle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and distribute the responsibility
equally
.

On the one hand, I am of the opinion that addressing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
is the duty of one transnational organization.
Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons that lead to environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as air pollution, global warming, deforestation and even more severe natural calamities like ice-melting in both North and South Pole, greenhouse effect, ozone depletion. Those causes that I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
mentioned occur worldwide and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
regardless of how wealthy they are. No single nation can deal with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
completely,
thus
having a global
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
greater cooperation among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may lack experience and required techniques to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
effectively
.
Therefore
, unless rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
subsidize poor ones, it would be impossible to wipe out those matters.

On the other hand
, I am in favor of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that every local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should handle their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Each nation has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
which stem from a variety of causes and
as a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approaches and solutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be imposed
timely to minimize the consequences of these problematic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
For instance
, in recent years, China has experienced a serious air pollution due to the huge amount of exhausted fumes emitted by personal vehicles. In order to remedy this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, Chinese authority has lifted a ban to vehicles commuting in major cities during rush hours. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Africa
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer a severe drought that results in thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have insufficient fresh water.
Hence
, it
is undoubted
that every nation should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with their distinct solution to handle their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
green
issues.

In conclusion
, although it
is argued
that the duty of preserving the environment should fall to one international organization
instead
of local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, I do believe that this phenomenon should
be coped
with together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the maximum effects.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Solving enviromental problems should be the responsibility of one inernational organization rather than each national government. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts