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Politicians private lives should not be published in newspapers, To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Politicians private lives should not be published in newspapers, v. 1
Presently, the number of species under extinction threat is increasing. So, to maintain biodiversity, one must understand the role of each and every species on Earth. To point that in every ecosystem there are 'keystone' species that sustains a whole bunch of other animals and plants. Destroying one such types unleashes a trail of destruction that is irreversible. The real power of human beings is that we can destroy everything easily for self-interest and greed. As a result, extinction is a great threat to many species. Fortunately, it is not late to maintain biodiversity. To begin with, reducing the water pollution can create a great relieve on water species. According to the biologists, four fifths of all existing creatures are living in the water. Water Pollution is reducing creatures and the population of them day by day. Chemical and biological wastages are kept polluting fresh aqua reserves and seas. For example, every year a million gallon of polluted water was discharged into the rivers and sea in Istanbul. Because, there were no sewer treatment facilities in Istanbul, the sea became polluted and there was nearly no underwater life. After building sewer treatment facilities, water reserves and sea have become clearer. As well as, maintaining biodiversity is forestation. Most of the land creatures are need forests for a living. Forestation can create new living areas for many animals, especially for cubs. Specifically, it is the city of Abu Dhabi. İn the seventies, Emirate of Abu Dhabi decided to create a forest in the desert. After a well-organised forestation plan, they managed to create a forest and it is an attraction point for people who want to see the forest habitat. There are many kinds of creatures from mammals to endemic insects. To sum up, everything on this planet is connected and the real losers of biological diversity destruction are human beings and not anything else. However, doing small but effective changes we can save plenty of species.
Presently
, the number of species under extinction threat is increasing.
So
, to maintain biodiversity, one
must
understand the role of each and every species on Earth. To point that in every ecosystem there are 'keystone' species that sustains a
whole bunch
of other animals and plants. Destroying one such types unleashes a trail of destruction
that is
irreversible. The real power of human beings is that we can
destroy
everything
easily
for self-interest and greed.

As a result
, extinction is a great threat to
many
species.
Fortunately
, it is not late to maintain biodiversity.

To
begin
with, reducing the
water
pollution can
create
a great relieve on
water
species. According to the biologists, four fifths of all existing
creatures
are living in the
water
.
Water
Pollution is reducing
creatures
and the population of them day by day.

Chemical and biological
wastages
are
kept
polluting fresh aqua reserves and
seas
.
For example
, every year a million gallon of polluted
water
was discharged
into the rivers and
sea
in Istanbul.
Because
, there were no sewer treatment facilities in Istanbul, the
sea
became polluted and there was
nearly
no underwater life. After building sewer treatment facilities,
water
reserves and
sea
have become clearer.

As well
as, maintaining biodiversity is forestation. Most of the land
creatures
are need
forests
for a living. Forestation can
create
new living areas for
many
animals,
especially
for cubs.
Specifically
, it is the city of Abu Dhabi.
İn
the seventies, Emirate of Abu Dhabi decided to
create
a
forest
in the desert. After a
well-organised
forestation plan, they managed to
create
a
forest
and it is an attraction point for p
eople
who want to s
ee
the
forest
habitat. There are m
any
kinds of
creatures
from mammals to endemic insects.

To sum up, everything on this planet
is connected
and the real losers of biological diversity destruction are human beings and not anything else. H
owever,
doing s
mall
b
ut
effective c
hanges
we can save p
lenty
of species.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Politicians private lives should not be published in newspapers, v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
326 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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