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Politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. v. 2
Some believe that personal information about what politicians do when they are not working should not be the content of newspaper articles. This essay disagrees with this as the public should know if their officials are doing anything illegal and this subject is only written about in exceptional circumstances. Firstly, a country’s citizens deserve to know if politicians are engaged in any illicit activities. During elections, candidates always promote themselves as honest and law-abiding citizens, so when this is not the case, it is necessary for journalists to report the truth for everyone to know, and this generally leads to the appropriate penalty being applied. For example, in Toronto, it was reported that their mayor was partaking in the use of illegal substances and after the release of this news, an outcry from the public resulted in his dismissal. Furthermore, newspapers only report on the private lives of politicians if they have done something wrong. Unlike the lives of celebrities, there is very little interest in the day-to-day activities of members of the government and for this reason, they only see articles pertaining to their private lives when they have done something disreputable that will pique the interest of readers. For instance, I have read the Irish Times every morning for 12 years and have yet to see an article about a government official that was not either relating to their work or some wrongdoing that they had committed. In conclusion, this essay argues that newspapers should continue printing stories about what politicians do in their free time to ensure that voters are aware of any undesirable characteristics that these people may have and politicians have no reason to be concerned if they are behaving appropriately.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that personal information about what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
do when they are not working should not be the content of newspaper articles. This essay disagrees with this as the public should know if their officials are doing anything illegal and this subject is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
written about in exceptional circumstances.

Firstly
, a country’s citizens deserve to know if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
are engaged
in any illicit activities. During elections, candidates always promote themselves as honest and law-abiding citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when this is not the case, it is necessary for journalists to report the truth for everyone to know, and this
generally
leads to the appropriate penalty
being applied
.
For example
, in Toronto, it
was reported
that their mayor was partaking in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of illegal substances and after the release of this news, an outcry from the public resulted in his dismissal.

Furthermore
, newspapers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
report on the private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
if they have done something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Unlike the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of celebrities, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
interest in the day-to-day activities of members of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
for this reason
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
articles pertaining to their private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
when they have done something disreputable that will pique the interest of readers.
For instance
, I have read the Irish Times every morning for 12 years and have
yet
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an article about a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
official that was not either relating to their work or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wrongdoing that they had committed.

In conclusion
, this essay argues that newspapers should continue printing stories about what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
do in their free time to ensure that voters are aware of any undesirable characteristics that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may have and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
have no reason to
be concerned
if they are behaving
appropriately
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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