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Leaders and directors in organizations are often older people. Some people say that younger people could be leaders. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Leaders and directors in organizations are often older people. Some people say that younger people could be leaders. v. 2
Leadership is the ability to guide and direct people. A controversial issue is whether younger people could be the leaders of an organization instead of the norm of having older people in such capacity based on their experience. I believe young people can also be good leaders based on their skills and innovative ideas To begin with, Youths who could make outstanding leaders so far they have the right ability to lead. There are some older people who are in a Leadership position and do not function well because of their lack of skills. Where as, a younger person could have the right leadership skills to steer an organization in becoming profitable. For example, since the new Managing Director, UAC PLC; who is in his early thirties, took charge of the company from the Ex- Director who was much older, the company began to make ridiculous profits, which was never accounted in the past tenures. This occurred as a result of the valuable skills the young MD implemented. Additionally, people who believe the older ones are the best fit for leadership roles, believe so because of their experience; however, according to a Report from the Business Times Newspapers; Most changes which occur in organizations as been attributed to be innovative ideas of the young people in such Organization, this is because in recent times, youth are constantly keeping themselves abreast on new trends of businesses through the internet. This is not often seen in older people. Therefore, this signifies that, if youths are put in a leadership position they will convey these new trends to improve their organization. In summary, it is true that most Authority position in organizations is mostly occupied by older people because of their years of experience, despite this, this essay has analysed why youth could also make good leaders due to their skills and innovative ideas, based on these reasons, I believe Leadership roles should not be streamlined only to Older adults; Thus, the younger generations should be given a chance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leadership
is the ability to guide and direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. A controversial issue is whether younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
instead
of the norm of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in such capacity based on their experience. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and innovative
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ideas


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Youths
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far they have the right ability to lead. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leadership
position and do not function well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
, a younger person could have the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to steer an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
in becoming profitable.
For example
, since the new Managing Director, UAC PLC;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is in his early thirties, took charge of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
from the Ex- Director
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
began to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ridiculous profits, which was never accounted in the past tenures. This occurred
as a result
of the valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
the young MD implemented.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
ones are the best fit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
roles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their experience;
however
, according to a Report from the Business Times Newspapers; Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which occur in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
as
been attributed
to be innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Organization
, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are
constantly
keeping themselves abreast on new trends of businesses through the internet. This is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, this signifies that, if youths
are put
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
position they will convey these new trends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their organization.

In summary, it is true that most Authority position in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
is
mostly
occupied by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their years of experience, despite this, this essay has
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
due to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, based on these reasons, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leadership
roles should not
be streamlined
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
adults;
Thus
, the younger generations should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Leaders and directors in organizations are often older people. Some people say that younger people could be leaders. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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