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Politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. v. 1
Some would argue that the personal lives of elected officials must not be revealed on print media. This essay completely agrees with the statement because privacy is the fundamental right of a citizen and propaganda in newspapers would destroy their political career. Besides, being the political representatives, they are also a citizen of a country and they have the privilege to keep their personal life unrevealed. In other words, residents of the country have some basic rights and keeping their life confidential is of utmost importance, so presenting news and articles revealing their private lives is considered as a breach of law. For example, in the United Kingdom, a politician lodged a complaint in the high court against a news agency for publishing those pictures, which were taken without their consent while having dinner in a restaurant with the family. What is more important is the propagation of their family and social life could lead to serious consequences. News agencies publish news according to their perspective which might not be true or just one side of the story. As a result, the public tends to hate them and would not like to vote them in the future. For example, a former Federal Minister in India was falsely accused of sexual harassment with his secretary, later it was revealed that it was just propaganda against him but its impact on his career was long-lasting. To conclude, this essay agrees with the statement that let them live their life confidentially, it is their basic right and any invasion by the press in their personal lives has drastic effects on their job. Hence, it is the moral obligation not to print about the private life of a politician in a newspaper.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of elected officials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be revealed
on print media. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
privacy is the fundamental right of a citizen and propaganda in newspapers would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their political career.

Besides
, being the political representatives, they are
also
a citizen of a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
they have the privilege to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
unrevealed.
In other words
, residents of the country have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic rights and keeping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
confidential is of utmost importance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
presenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and articles revealing their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
is considered
as a breach of law.
For example
, in the United Kingdom, a politician lodged a complaint in the high court against a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
agency for publishing those pictures, which
were taken
without their consent while having dinner in a restaurant with the family.

What is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is the propagation of their family and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
could lead to serious consequences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
agencies publish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
according to their perspective which might not be true or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one side of the story.
As a result
, the public tends to hate them and would not like to vote them in the future.
For example
, a former Federal Minister in India was
falsely
accused of sexual harassment with his secretary, later it
was revealed
that it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
propaganda against him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its impact on his career was long-lasting.

To conclude
, this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
confidentially
, it is their basic right and any invasion by the press in their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
has drastic effects on their job.
Hence
, it is the moral obligation not to print about the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of a politician in a newspaper.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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