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Some people think studying in groups is better, while some think self study is better for school students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.3

Education has a power to change the person's life but teacher has a superpower to change the future of country. Though, few mentor believe that study in a group gave a better result while other state that studying in isolation is far more better. According to me group study is a right way to remain consantrate, I will articulate the merits of both methods and my view into accompanying passages. On one hand, guide suggest the way for group study according to them when student organised in group they negotiate the topics and doubts with each other, thus have a less difficult in topics. More over all students have a different capability of learning if one may week other may help him in the study. Therefore, balance between them is equal. To exemplify, in usa researchers state that, with the help of this method students quiet enjoying the subject which was daunting task for them in the past. On other hand, number of people state that study alone is rather good than with peers. Well, this method also have a effective benefits, firstly, it depends on personality, some students would not feel comfortable with other students just because they easily concentrate themselves without other pupils around them. Apart from that, some individuals prefer to listen a song while some may not suitable to that method. Hence, are the reasons why this method is convenient for some individuals. Coming to my point of view both method is good but according to me arranging student into group is far better than second method. It is easy, convenient and effective. To conclude, both methods are right for students but students may be choose according to the preference and the taste.
Education has a power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the person's
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
teacher has a superpower to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the future of country. Though,
Possible agreement error. The noun mentor seems to be countable; consider using: “few mentors”.
few mentor
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
gave a better result while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
state that studying in isolation is far more better.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using “in my opinion” or “I think”.
According to me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is a right way to remain
Possible spelling mistake found.
consantrate
, I will articulate the merits of both
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methods
and my view into accompanying passages.

On one hand, guide suggest the way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to them when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organised’ is British English.
organised
in
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group
they negotiate the topics and doubts with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
thus
have a less difficult in topics. More over all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
capability of learning if one may week
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other
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Therefore
, balance between them is equal. To exemplify, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
usa
researchers state that, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
quiet enjoying the subject which was daunting task for them in the past. On
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other
hand, number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
alone is
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
than with peers. Well, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
also
have
The plural noun “benefits” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a effective benefit” or “effective benefits”?
a effective benefits
,
firstly
, it depends on personality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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students
would not feel comfortable with
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other
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students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
easily
concentrate themselves without
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other
pupils around them. Apart from that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals prefer to listen a song while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may not suitable to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
.
Hence
, are the reasons why this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is convenient for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals.

Coming to my point of view both
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method
is
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good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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according
to me arranging
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student
into
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group
is far better than second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
. It is easy, convenient and effective.

To conclude
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
are right for
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may be
Consider using the past participle “chosen”.
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to the preference and the taste.
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IELTS essay Some teachers say students should be organised into groups to study. Others argue students should made to study alone. Tell the benefits of each study method. Which one do you think is more effective?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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