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Politicians private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Politicians private lives should not be published in newspapers. v. 4
It is argued that public servants' personal lives should not be allowed to print in papers. This essay completely agrees with that statement because it could cause various health issues and also deviates from the original work. Politicians often stay in the limelight regarding with their lifestyle, relationships and where they live. Disclosure of private life leads to medical problems, this could be true, especially with the persons dealing with anxiety and pulmonary concerns. They undergo tremendous stress with fear, which can sometimes cause mental disorder or a dreadful heart attack. For instance, Mr. Mathew a notable prime minister of the UK died in 2010 of cardiac arrest while watching the news telecasted on television about his illegal affair with maidservant. Another reason is that public person's mind gets distracted from performing official duties related to the welfare of people. They concentrate more on protecting the image in the public to attain respect and to win over the opposition. Apparently, their important schedules are occupied with engaging in reading articles published about them in the social media, papers and TV resulting in the failure in elections. For example, In 2016 Mr. Modi from India lost by 25% votes for the presidential nomination as a result of deviation from the media during public campaigning. In conclusion, the media and newspapers should not be allowed to publish articles about private lifestyle and personal matters of the politicians because it triggers different health concerns and diverts them from conducting duties. I believe media persons handle with care, keeping in mind about the negative repercussions while printing on the personal matters of the politicians.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
servants' personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to print in papers. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with that statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could cause various health issues and
also
deviates from the original work.

Politicians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
stay in the limelight regarding with their lifestyle, relationships and where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Disclosure of private life leads to medical problems, this could be true,
especially
with the persons dealing with anxiety and pulmonary concerns. They undergo tremendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
with fear, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
cause mental disorder or a dreadful heart attack.
For instance
, Mr. Mathew a notable prime minister of the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in 2010 of cardiac arrest while watching the news
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
on television about his illegal affair with maidservant.

Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
person's mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
distracted from performing official duties related to the welfare of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They concentrate more on protecting the image in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
to attain respect and to win over the opposition.
Apparently
, their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
schedules
are occupied
with engaging in reading articles published about them in the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, papers and TV resulting in the failure in elections.
For example
, In 2016 Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Modi
from India lost by 25% votes for the presidential nomination
as a result
of deviation from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
campaigning.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and newspapers should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to publish articles about private lifestyle and personal matters of the politicians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it triggers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
health concerns and diverts them from conducting duties. I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
persons handle with care, keeping in mind about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
repercussions while printing on the personal matters of the politicians.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Politicians private lives should not be published in newspapers. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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