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Politicians are more responsible for protection of the environment than individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Politicians are more responsible for protection of the environment than individuals. v. 2
Since technology has overtaken the nature friendly gadgets, protecting our valuable environment has become very crucial for human being. Whether politicians are alone responsible for saving our nature or its the mandatory job for every inhabitant has sparked a heated debate. here i will discord the given statement Multifarious points can be given to shore up my view. First and foremost, it is next to impossible for politicians to take care of our environment all alone as they can only pass the rules but it is the people who has to implement them in their daily routine. In addition, their are only handful of politicians in any country. Hence, we cant expect them to be the environment survival, local people has to step forward and vast contribution ought to be made by them in order to lead healthy lifestyle by protecting our priceless environment Further emphasizing on my point of view, it is next to impossible for politicians and law authorities to stop people doing every single activity which is harmful for our environment. Thus, people should be educated enough to perform things by keeping environment safety in mind Others have conflicting views, according to them, government is being elected to take care the every single aspect of country including environment. So, politicians should impose every single law strictly in order to save environment. They also claim that politicians are financially strong and can afford to run campaigns and other activities to make people aware about the importance of environment. That is how people can be made to take care of environment To recapitulate, combine efforts of politicians and individuals are recommended to save the natural gift of god but it is people who has to take care that they do not do anything that hurt environment
Since technology has overtaken the nature friendly gadgets, protecting our valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for human being. Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
are alone responsible for saving our nature or
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
the mandatory job for every inhabitant has sparked a heated debate.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
here
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discord the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
statement


Multifarious points can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shore up my view.
First
and foremost, it is
next
to impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
all alone as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pass the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
to implement them in their daily routine.
In addition
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
handful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
in any country.
Hence
, we
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
them to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
survival, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
to step forward and vast contribution ought to
be made
by them in order to lead healthy lifestyle by protecting our priceless environment

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
emphasizing on my point of view, it is
next
to impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
and law authorities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing every single activity which is harmful for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to perform things by keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
safety in mind

Others have conflicting views, according to them,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is
being elected
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
the every single aspect of country including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
should impose every single law
strictly
in order to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. They
also
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
are
financially
strong and can afford to run campaigns and other activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
That is
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be made
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
environment


To recapitulate, combine efforts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
and individuals
are recommended
to save the natural gift of god
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
that they do not do anything that hurt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Politicians are more responsible for protection of the environment than individuals. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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