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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where the conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or The Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.2

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where the conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or The Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 2
Visiting places with extreme weather, on the far end of the earth, is a new trend nowadays. Such tourists face different pros and cons in doing so. Let's examine them in detail in this essay. Firstly, It gives a thrill to so many people. Adventurous folks like this because they get to visit places which haven't been seen by many on this planet. These places are natural and haven't been polluted by humans till now, hence they tend to be unique. The second biggest advantage is that, It creates tourism industry in those areas and generates many jobs around it. Population living in those regions benefit a lot economically from such activities. This also reduces the traffic from normal tourist attractions. On the flip side, such travels have many disadvantages. There are no hotels in those regions which makes staying very challenging. Providing food and other resources take a lot of effort. In addition, trips to such places are usually very costly. It also tends to pollute the environment in those natural regions. For example, In a recent article in the newspaper, it was mentioned that animals on the Antarctica are negatively affected by tourist visit and their population is on a decline. However, In some cases it is usually a win-win situation for many. For example, in case of the Sahara desert, more people visiting doesn't harm anything environmentally. On the other hand, it helped cities around it prosper. In conclusion, pros and cons of such travel depend on the place. In some cases, it doesn't have any disadvantages while in another it does more harm to the environment.
Visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with extreme weather, on the far
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the earth, is a new trend nowadays. Such tourists face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pros and cons in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's examine them in detail in this essay.

Firstly
, It gives a thrill to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Adventurous folks like this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which haven't been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
on this planet. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are natural and haven't
been polluted
by humans till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
hence
they tend to be unique.

The second biggest advantage is that, It creates tourism industry in those areas and generates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs around it. Population living in those regions benefit a lot
economically
from such activities. This
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the traffic from normal tourist attractions.

On the flip side, such travels have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages. There are no hotels in those regions which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
staying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging. Providing food and other resources take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort.

In addition
, trips to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly. It
also
tends to pollute the environment in those natural regions.
For example
, In a recent article in the newspaper, it
was mentioned
that animals on the Antarctica are
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by tourist visit and their population is on a decline.

However
, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases it is
usually
a win-win situation for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
For example
, in case of the Sahara desert, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting doesn't harm anything
environmentally
.
On the other hand
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
cities around it prosper.

In conclusion
, pros and cons of such travel depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, it doesn't have any disadvantages while in another it does more harm to the environment.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where the conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or The Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 2

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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