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People who travel to another country to live, work or study for a period of time often suffer badly from homesickness. Why is this? What are the best ways to reduce this problem. v.3

People who travel to another country to live, work or study for a period of time often suffer badly from homesickness. Why is this? What are the best ways to reduce this problem. v. 3
Nowadays, there are more and more people who leave their country and go to another place for different purpose. It makes some people feel sick as they face a totally new environment to what they used to grow up. This essay will discuss about the solution of this problem. First of all, there are some ideas to overcome the uncomfortable feeling for someone who miss their home while staying in a different country. Joining communities which operating by people who from the same country. It helps people to make new friends and speak their own language which create a comfortable atmosphere. Moreover, people who from the same background are more easy to understand each other and they may get along well than other people. What is more, contacting with family is one of the good ways to decrease the sickness of missing hometown. People can use internet video phoning and international calling to connect with their family. It is a convenient and simple method to release people’s sickness during their stay in a different country. In addition, family’s support is always the best medicine for people who have homesick problem as family is the most closer people in the world. In conclusion, solving the trouble of missing home while living in another country can be vary. The ideas of mine include meeting same nationality people and calling family regularly.
Nowadays, there are more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and go to another place for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purpose. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel sick as they face a
totally
new environment to what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to grow up. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
solution of this problem.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to overcome the uncomfortable feeling for someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
miss their home while staying in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Joining communities which operating by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
from the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends and speak their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
language which create a comfortable atmosphere.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
from the same background are more easy to understand each
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
other and
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along well than other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

What is more
, contacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ways to decrease the sickness of missing hometown.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet video phoning and international calling to connect with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It is a convenient and simple method to release
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
sickness during their stay in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
support is always the best medicine for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have homesick problem as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the
Use only "closer" (without 'most') when you use the comparative.
most closer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world.

In conclusion
, solving the trouble of missing home while living in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can be
Consider using the past participle "varied"?
vary
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of mine include meeting same nationality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and calling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
regularly
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay People who travel to another country to live, work or study for a period of time often suffer badly from homesickness. Why is this? What are the best ways to reduce this problem. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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