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3 These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work What could be the reasons for this Do you think it is a positive or a negatives development v.2

3 These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work What could be the reasons for this Do you think it is a positive or a negatives development v. 2
Nowadays, more and more husbands agree completely to look after children and doing housework in social lives. There are various reasons for this view, so i think that it is a positive trend to need much understanding. There are several causes of why a lot of fathers could not leave their house to gain occupation. Firstly, with modern life, the larger of women might be extremely desired to pursue their career and very busy, therefore, helping of their husband is quite important. Secondly, the role of each person depends on their ability to divide available tasks for everyone while in the past, the breadwinners in families attach entirely with husband’s obligation. For example, my friend’s husband has landed housework and take care of children after a long time of unemployment, whereas, my friend might be completely busy in company to earn more money, so they dicided that husband would be continued that role because it is difficult to land a job in that time. Finally, the househusband could be more common, rather than much more husbands would prefer spending time on their baby to pursue vocation. In my opinion, this change’s role in families progress perfectly. With the rising cost of living, couple should be careful to make decision who go out to earn money, who stay at home in order to assume childcare responsibilities. In addition, it is better equal role in families if society could be significant transformable in traditional minds. Therefore, women could be entirely time to follow their career after having baby and men could also give up their job to have more free time with baby without criticism of anyone. For example, in the past, my grandfather did not allow my mother following her favorite job such as teacher to look after children, but nowadays, when grandfather has been observed a bunch of wives who have breadwinners role in families, his view is opened mind. In conclusion, more wives could be much opportunities in securing job and the husbands who agree childcare obligation would create much more progress and equal humanity.
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husbands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
completely to look after children and doing housework in social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. There are various reasons for this view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend to need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
understanding.

There are several causes of why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fathers could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to gain occupation.
Firstly
, with modern life, the
Use "largest" if you mean to express an extreme with this adjective.
larger
of women might be
extremely
desired to pursue their career and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy,
therefore
, helping of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
of each person depends on their ability to divide available tasks for everyone while in the past, the breadwinners in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
attach
entirely
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband’s
obligation.
For example
, my friend’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
has landed housework and take care of children after a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of unemployment, whereas, my friend might be completely busy in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to earn more money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicided
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husband
would
be continued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is difficult to land a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Finally
, the househusband could be more common,
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husbands
would prefer spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their baby to pursue vocation.

In my opinion, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
progress
perfectly
. With the rising cost of living, couple should be careful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
go out to earn money,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
stay at home in order to assume childcare responsibilities.
In addition
, it is better equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
if society could be significant transformable in traditional minds.
Therefore
, women could be
entirely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to follow their career after having baby and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
could
also
give up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to have more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with baby without criticism of anyone.
For example
, in the past, my grandfather did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
my mother following her favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
such as teacher to look after children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays, when grandfather has
been observed
a bunch of wives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have breadwinners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, his view
is opened
mind.

In conclusion
, more wives could be
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
opportunities in securing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
husbands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
childcare obligation would create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more progress and equal humanity.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay 3 These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work What could be the reasons for this Do you think it is a positive or a negatives development v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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