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People who travel to another country to live, work or study for a period of time often suffer badly from homesickness. Why is this? What are the best ways to reduce this problem. v.2

People who travel to another country to live, work or study for a period of time often suffer badly from homesickness. Why is this? What are the best ways to reduce this problem. v. 2
It is common nowadays that the people are moving to alternative therapies for their problems. In many scenarios, it is observed that such methods were not useful at all and were hazardious. As per my view, I highly agree with the fact that alternative medication with no research can be a waste of time and it may worsen the health condition further. Firstly, many people use such remedies before going to a doctor which turns out to be ineffective. The reason behind is that, most often people don’t understand the symptoms of the actual problem. To exemplify this, at first many believe that normal symptoms such as cold and fever can be cured at home without spending money on pharmacy. But sometimes these problems reach to advance stage of jaundice, malaria and so on. Therefore, it is important to consult a practitioner first who can examine a person having such conditions. Furthermore, lack of proper knowledge of such alternative medicines often turn out to be harmful. In many platforms, especially social media, people spread hoax about products that has changed their health. In many cases, people do not have proper awareness of such substitute products and start using it, this might leads to many medical problems. One such example can be about Apple cider vinegar, as it is very common: many cheap qualities of it is available in the market. People should understand about the product carefully and the interactions of it with their bodies, which can be done only by professionals. To conclude, I would say that it is crucial to consult a doctor for any health related issues. Furthermore, one should be aware of such substitute medicines in complete and consult a doctor before taking it to avoid any health problems.
It is common nowadays that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving to alternative therapies for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scenarios, it
is observed
that such methods were not useful at all and were
Possible spelling mistake found.
hazardious
. As per my view, I
highly
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
alternative medication with no research can be a waste of time and it may worsen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition
further
.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such remedies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to a doctor which turns out to be ineffective. The reason behind is that, most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t understand the symptoms of the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. To exemplify this, at
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that normal symptoms such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
and fever can
be cured
at home without spending money on pharmacy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
reach to advance stage of jaundice, malaria and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consult a practitioner
first
who can examine a person having such conditions.

Furthermore
, lack of proper knowledge of such alternative medicines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
turn out to be harmful. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
platforms,
especially
social media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spread hoax about products that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have proper awareness of such substitute products and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using it, this might leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. One such example can be about Apple cider vinegar, as it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
qualities of it is available in the market.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should understand about the product
carefully
and the interactions of it with their bodies, which can
be done
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by professionals.

To conclude
, I would say that it is crucial to consult a doctor for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related issues.
Furthermore
, one should be aware of such substitute medicines in complete and consult a doctor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking it to avoid any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay People who travel to another country to live, work or study for a period of time often suffer badly from homesickness. Why is this? What are the best ways to reduce this problem. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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