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People who read for pleasure in their free time have a better imagination than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People who read for pleasure in their free time have a better imagination than those who prefer to watch TV. v. 1
As a result of the advancement of technology, there are many and different varieties of ways how people can spend their spare time. However, I strongly agree that it is almost much better for people to read rather than watching TV for mainly two causes. Firstly, reading gives the reader a good opportunity to control time, which could be an important factor in initiating the imagination. When one individual reads a story or novel, he has the ability to stop reading any time he wants and this pause almost gives the reader a great chance to think and imagine. For example, during reading readers can imagine themselves as the story's main character and create a little story. Consequently, this lets people initiate new stories with different characters and different background and this stimulates imagination and creativity. Although I acknowledge that TV'progames provide alive characters and different pictures with amazing colours, which might definitely encourage imagery, I still believe that TV'channels do not let people enough time to think of what they watch while the show is continuous. Secondly, the most important cause why reading is much better for imagination than watching TV is that reading is an interactive process between the reader and what he reads. Flicking through books and turning pages grasps reader's attention and helps them to appreciate what they read. As a result this appreciation and that attention will increase their interest. Moreover, reading let people share with highlighting words, drawing shapes, and even write a summary or suggestion, and this active interaction creates imagination and creativity. To sum up, not only does reading give people the enough time to imagine, it also helps them share and create. Therefore, although TV's programs have amazing animation and real characters, I wholeheartedly agree that spending spare time in reading is the best method to initiate imagination.
As a result
of the advancement of technology, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
varieties of ways how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spend their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is almost much better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
rather
than watching TV for
mainly
two causes.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
gives the reader a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which could be an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in initiating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
. When one individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reads
a story or novel, he has the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
he wants and this pause almost gives the reader a great chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and imagine.
For example
, during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
readers can imagine themselves as the story's main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
and create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
story.
Consequently
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
initiate new stories with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
background and this stimulates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
and creativity. Although I acknowledge that TV'
Possible spelling mistake found.
progames
provide alive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
pictures with amazing
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
, which might definitely encourage imagery, I
still
believe that TV'channels do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
is continuous.

Secondly
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cause why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is much better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
than watching TV is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is an interactive process between the reader and what he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reads
. Flicking through books and turning pages grasps reader's attention and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to appreciate what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
.
As a result
this appreciation and that attention will increase their interest.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
share with highlighting words, drawing shapes, and even write a summary or suggestion, and this active interaction creates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
and creativity.

To sum up, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to imagine, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them share and create.
Therefore
, although TV's programs have amazing animation and real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
, I
wholeheartedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that spending spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is the best method to initiate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay People who read for pleasure in their free time have a better imagination than those who prefer to watch TV. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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