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Many people believe that it is important to protect the environment, but they make no effort to protect it themselves. problem/solutions? v.2

Many people believe that it is important to protect the environment, but they make no effort to protect it themselves. problem/solutions? v. 2
Majority of individual believe that it is crucial to save the environment but they do nothing about it. There are wide range of factors that accounts for why this is occurring and there are solutions which can implement to mitigate this soaring concern. The main cause behind this problem is that people are not aware about their environment. Some individuals do not know the importance of environment and they continuously devastating their surroundings by their daily activities such as these days people use those products which are over packaged with plastic covers. Plastic is non degradable Material which put detrimental effect on environment. Another reason which leads to this situation is that people imagine that they are not capable of saving their environment. Individuals feel that only government can take steps in order to save environment and if they do something by themselve then they may fail in their target. As a result they leave everything on government because authorities have power. The problem could be tackled by implementing required solutions. One way to overcome this menace is that government should aware the unaware individuals via campaigns. They should encourage people to protect their surroundings. Moreover, Government can also introduce masses to the importance of spic and span environment. General public can also take steps to tackle with this difficulty as they can use public transportation while traveling instead of their personal vehicle. This phenomenon may decrease the air pollution which create by number of vehicles on the roads. In conclusion, while several factors are responsible for this difficulty, authorities could solve this obstacle by methods described above.
Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
believe that it is crucial to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do nothing about it. There are wide range of factors that accounts for why this is occurring and there are solutions which can implement to mitigate this soaring concern.

The main cause behind this problem is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not aware about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
do not know the importance of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
environment and
they
continuously
devastating their surroundings by their daily activities such as these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those products which are over packaged with plastic covers. Plastic is
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non degradable
Material which put detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Another reason which leads to this situation is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
imagine that they are not capable of saving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
feel that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can take steps in order to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and if they do something by
Possible spelling mistake found.
themselve
then they may fail in their target.
As a result
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
everything on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
authorities have power.

The problem could
be tackled
by implementing required solutions. One way to overcome this menace is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should aware the unaware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
via campaigns. They should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to protect their surroundings.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
can
also
introduce masses to the importance of spic and span
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Consider using "public".
General public
can
also
take steps to tackle with this difficulty as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportation while traveling
instead
of their personal vehicle. This phenomenon may decrease the air pollution which create by number of vehicles on the roads.

In conclusion
, while several factors are responsible for this difficulty, authorities could solve this obstacle by methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Many people believe that it is important to protect the environment, but they make no effort to protect it themselves. problem/solutions? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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