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People who go to live in other countries, should follow the customs and tradition of the new country. To What extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

People who go to live in other countries, should follow the customs and tradition of the new country. v. 2
Nowadays, many student are traveling to the new country for education purpose and also other people for their business work. But some might accept tradition of that country and others will not. I believe in accepting tradition and custom of new country whenever we travel as a visitor or as a living purpose. Firstly, many students or business people live in other country to seek knowledge and to run business. They live their atleast for 4 to 5 years, but while living there they should accept the culture and tradition of that country as well as they should respect it. This will also help us to involve in society where we can feel familiar and safe. Respecting other' s culture will also come back to us only, whenever they come to our country. Accepting new tradition will also helps in doing business in those country. Like whenever colossal companies come to India, they first do analysis of market and understand the tradition, according to that they launch business by doing some changes in current business or product. Secondly, some people might believing that accepting and respecting other' s tradition will disdain their own' s religion. This kind of feeling always leads to conflict and end-up by war. Like there are some religions that won' t accept any other tradition and consider themselves as a superior and to dominate other religion they fight with them in each and every way. Some people are also afraid about accepting new tradition will leads into forgetting our owns, there might be chance that next generation will not remember there' s own tradition. In a nutshell, We are a normal people struggling for successful life and while this arduous struggle we need to connect with others. To connect with someone' s heart we need to accept them and respect them completely. Accepting and respecting there' s culture, tradition, customs, language will be the first aspect to be a cosmopolitan. Having myopic mindset will not make us going to give fruitful life. Hence, if you want to live there jovially then accept there' s religion and tradition firstly but never forget own' s tradition.
Nowadays,
Possible agreement error. The noun student seems to be countable; consider using: "many students".
many student
are traveling to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for education purpose and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
will not. I believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
and custom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
whenever we travel as a visitor or as a living purpose.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to seek knowledge and to run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
for 4 to 5 years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
while living there they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
the culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
as they should respect it. This will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to involve in society where we can feel familiar and safe. Respecting
Possible spelling mistake found.
other&
#039; s culture will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
will
also
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "help"
helps
in doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Like whenever colossal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to India, they
first
do analysis of market and understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
, according to that they launch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
or product.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might believing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accepting
and respecting
Possible spelling mistake found.
other&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
will disdain their
Possible spelling mistake found.
own&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
. This kind of feeling always leads to conflict and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-up by war. Like there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religions
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
and consider themselves as a superior and to dominate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
they fight with them in each and every way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
afraid about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
into forgetting our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
, there might be chance that
next
generation will not remember
Possible spelling mistake found.
there&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
tradition.

In a nutshell, We are a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
struggling for successful life and while this arduous struggle we need to connect with others. To connect with
Possible spelling mistake found.
someone&
#039; s heart we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
them and respect them completely.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Accepting
and respecting
Possible spelling mistake found.
there&
#039; s culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
, customs, language will be the
first
aspect to be a cosmopolitan. Having myopic mindset will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us going to give fruitful life.
Hence
, if you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there
jovially
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
Possible spelling mistake found.
there&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
firstly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
never forget
Possible spelling mistake found.
own&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay People who go to live in other countries, should follow the customs and tradition of the new country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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