Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People who go to live in other countries, should follow the customs and tradition of the new country. To What extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People who go to live in other countries, should follow the customs and tradition of the new country. v. 1
With the world in such economic turmoil, many of us face difficult choices in managing our money. Personally, I feel that saving is preferable to high spending, and i will explain why. Firstly, saving money is a sensible precaution in a world where the future is uncertain. It is possible, for example, that a person might meet unemployment, ill health or other crises at some point in life. It is essential to have some funds in reserve for these situations, and saving is for most people the only way to achieve this. Furthermore, I believe that saving is itself a good discipline for people to develop, as it builds skills of planning and reaching targets. We can see this in the way that disciplined people build up quite large sums through small monthly contributions to savings plans. In many cases this meets important objectives in their lives, including large purchases such as cars or property. Finally, we have to remember the reasons for the current economic problems bessetting the world. The crisis was caused by excessive spending and insufficient saving - not just by individuals, but by corporations and even governments themselves. I feel that an emphasis on sensible saving should be a universal strategy now. I do appreciate that some people think differently, saying that it is better to live for the moment and spend accordingly. While some daily spending is essential, of course, I feel this is a potentially unwise viewpoint, especially considering recent global events. To conclude, I believe that saving is the wiser course, not just for financial but also for personal and political reasons. Sensible saving is an invaluable skill and a buffer against uncertainty.
With the world in such economic turmoil,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us face difficult choices in managing our money.
Personally
, I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
is preferable to high spending, and
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
money is a sensible precaution in a world where the future is uncertain. It is possible,
for example
, that a person might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
unemployment, ill health or other crises at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point in life. It is essential to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funds in reserve for these situations, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
is for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to achieve this.
Furthermore
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
is itself a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
discipline for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to develop, as it builds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of planning and reaching targets. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this in the way that disciplined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
build up quite large sums through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
monthly contributions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
plans. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases this meets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
objectives in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, including large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
such as cars or property.
Finally
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
remember the reasons for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
economic problems
Possible spelling mistake found.
bessetting
the world. The crisis
was caused
by excessive spending and insufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by individuals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by corporations and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
themselves. I feel that an emphasis on sensible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
should be a universal strategy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

I do appreciate that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
, saying that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for the moment and spend
accordingly
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
daily spending is essential,
of course
, I feel this is a
potentially
unwise viewpoint,
especially
considering recent global
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
is the wiser course, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for financial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for personal and political reasons. Sensible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
is an invaluable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and a buffer against uncertainty.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay People who go to live in other countries, should follow the customs and tradition of the new country. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts