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18/10/2017 These days more emphasis is being placed on university education. Vocational training is not encouraged, and thus there are few qualified trades people. To which extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

18/10/2017 These days more emphasis is being placed on university education. Vocational training is not encouraged, and thus there are few qualified trades people. To which extent v. 1
Nowadays, the question of young people studying a second language from primary school has received a great deal of public attention. Although this suggestion is not without disadvantages, I strongly believe that the advantages will be far more significant. On the one hand, there still exists a variety of drawbacks for this idea. First, since a national education system requires students to study a number of subjects, such as maths, history, literature, they spend plenty of time on solving all of the daily homework gotten from their teachers. In fact, balancing their study and play time is extremely important for children’s education development, which means that studying a new subject could lead to having less leisure time of them and causes for their life imbalance. Second, children may get confused because of learning many languages at the same time and this could have a negative impact on their development. For instance, it is argued that bilingual children develop the ability to talk more slowly than monolingual kids. On the other hand, there have numerous positive effects of studying a foreign language from the primary level of children’s development. First, it is evident that kids can learn faster at a young age because they are less self-conscious and shy. This means they could easily pronounce the right sounds and their foreign language will be enlarged most naturally. Second, children have a great interest in learning language through games. Thus, looking into their teaching and playing could be a pleasure for them. As a result, children learning languages is not a hard process as it is for adults. In conclusion, I totally agree that learning foreign languages at primary school will be more beneficial even though there are some tiny disadvantages.
Nowadays, the question of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
studying a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
from primary school has received a great deal of public attention. Although this suggestion is not without disadvantages, I
strongly
believe that the advantages will be far more significant.

On the one hand, there
still
exists a variety of drawbacks for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
First
, since a national education system requires students to study a number of subjects, such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, history, literature, they spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on solving
Consider using "all the".
all of the
daily homework gotten from their teachers. In fact, balancing their study and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education development, which means that studying a new subject could lead to having less leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of them and causes for their life imbalance. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and this could have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their development.
For instance
, it
is argued
that bilingual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop the ability to talk more
slowly
than monolingual kids.

On the other hand
, there have numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of studying a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
from the primary level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development.
First
, it is evident that kids can learn faster at a young age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are less self-conscious and shy. This means they could
easily
pronounce the right sounds and their foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will
be enlarged
most
naturally
. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a great interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
through games.
Thus
, looking into their teaching and playing could be a pleasure for them.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
process as it is for adults.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
at primary school will be more beneficial
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tiny disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay 18/10/2017 These days more emphasis is being placed on university education. Vocational training is not encouraged, and thus there are few qualified trades people. To which extent v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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