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People today spend too much time to pay attention to the personal lives of celebrities such as entertainers or famous people v.1

People today spend too much time to pay attention to the personal lives of celebrities such as entertainers or famous people v. 1
Computers have now become an integral part of our lives, most of the world depends on computerised output. In recent years there has been a constant elevation in usage of computers and machines which has resulted in an increased usage and reliance among school going children. This essay will discuss about the major problems such as, diminishing memory powers and ocular problems; solutions like visiting a library, reading paper based books and decreasing the time in front of the screen will hugely be beneficial for students who rely more on computers. Young generation has welcomed computers very warmly into their lives and they have also started becoming dependent on it. The main side-effect of this dependency is that they tend to forget things easily, whereas in the past people remembered much more information than the current generation. Increased on-screen time has also invited different eye problems in youngsters as the light rays are harmful to the eyes. To illustrate, compared to the past, the present youth suffers from 26 percent more vision problems, according to an American newspaper article. Encouragement for visiting library must be given to the school and college going people which will result in decreased usage of computers and thus increasing the strength of the brain. Creating awareness regarding the drawbacks of constantly being in front of harmful rays can be helpful in tackling diseases of the eyes. For example, a study on Japanese students revealed that, people who read more paper based articles and had very little to no use of computers, enjoyed far better vision compared to a regular computer user. In conclusion, above mentioned discourse has listed major problems of reliance on computers as well as provided the solutions to tackle it efficiently.
Computers have
now
become an integral part of our
lives
, most of the world depends on
computerised
output. In recent years there has been a constant elevation in usage of computers and machines which has resulted in an increased usage and reliance among school going children. This essay will
discuss about the
major
problems
such as, diminishing memory powers and ocular
problems
; solutions like visiting a library, reading paper based books and decreasing the time in front of the screen will
hugely
be beneficial for students who rely more on computers.

Young generation has welcomed computers
very
warmly
into their
lives and
they have
also
started
becoming dependent on it. The main
side-effect
of this dependency is that they tend to forget things
easily
, whereas in the past
people
remembered much more information than the
current
generation. Increased on-screen time has
also
invited
different
eye
problems
in youngsters as the light rays are harmful to the eyes. To illustrate, compared to the past, the present youth suffers from 26 percent more vision
problems
, according to an American newspaper article.

Encouragement for visiting library
must
be
given
to the school and college going
people
which will result in decreased usage of computers and
thus
increasing the strength of the brain. Creating awareness regarding the drawbacks of
constantly
being in front of harmful rays can be helpful in tackling diseases of the eyes.
For example
, a study on Japanese students revealed that,
people
who read more paper based articles and had
very
little
to no
use
of computers, enjoyed far better vision compared to a regular computer user.

In conclusion
, above mentioned discourse has listed major
problems
of reliance on computers
as well
as provided the solutions to tackle it
efficiently
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People today spend too much time to pay attention to the personal lives of celebrities such as entertainers or famous people v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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